My 18 year old headbutted my OH and he chucked him out

[Spudsey]

My 18 year old son was sick in his sleep all over the bedroom floor, after drinking excessively. My OH asked him to clear it up, the situation escalated and my son headbutted him. My other half then told him to leave the house. I was in work when all this happened.
My son knows he was out of order and is willing to apologise. My other half says he’s not welcome in our home unless the apology is good enough. I’m stuck in the middle. My partner and I are hardly speaking.

[Oddsocksandmeatballs]

If he is old enough to drink himself into such a state that he vomits everywhere then headbutts someone when asked to clean up then I'd be on the side of the person who was headbutted (or is there more to this than it at first appears).

[ChristmasFlary]

So your adult son vomited over the floor and he had to be asked to clean it up... who did he think was going to do it.

[PristineCondition]

If he had head butted you would you want him there?

[Wowzel]

He's lucky that your OH hasn't reported him to the police for assault.

A headbutt is properly disgusting.

[Peppapig254]

I dont understand your stance on this matter your son was totally out of order.
Why would you barely speak to your partner over this? Your partner is being more than fair.

[Fairylea]

I would have kicked him out too. His behaviour is dreadful! Unless there are significant mental health difficulties or special needs going on I think your dh is right.

[Reallyevilmuffin]

With your DH on this one. A headbutting on someone else would be assualt and potentially huge legal consequences. Your son needs a lesson sharpish before he has some life changing consequences.

[theworldistoosmall]

I wouldn't want to live with someone either who had assaulted me.

[Mmmmbrekkie]

I dont understand your stance on this matter your son was totally out of order

You don’t understand why the OP is upset her son has been kicked out of her home?

[PristineCondition]

And an apology is not adequate.

[daftgeranium]

Your partner did the right thing. Back him up, and discipline your son. His behavior is completely out of order.

[Littlegoth]

If someone headbutted me they would never be welcome in my prescence again, let alone my home.

[RebootYourEngine]

If my adult son assaulted me I wouldn't want him in my house so I am with your OH on this.

I can understand that he is your son but he needs to grow up.

[Walkingdeadfangirl]

Tell your son he bloody well better make his grovelling apology good enough or is isn't welcome in your house. You really want to live with a drunken violent thug who wont clean up their own vomit?

He is very lucky the police weren't called.

[LASH38]

Sick in his sleep? Thats quite dangerous levels of drink OP, or was he awake when he was sick (which is a different thing).

How long after vomiting was your partner telling him to clean it up? If within minutes when your DS was clearly still paralytic then while I understand his anger, the timing was poor. Mind you how drunk was he if he could head butt? I hope he is mortified by his actions.

Everyone needs to be careful how this is dealt with, your son has behaved disgracefully, your partner is more than right to be angry. Is there more to this?

[timeisnotaline]

I’m completely with your oh. Do you really not think assault is unacceptable, as is expectinganyone else to clean up his drunk vomit 🤢

[Kaykay06]

Sounds a delight, surely he should’ve just cleaned it up himself how on earth did it escalate to the point where he’s assulted your husband?

I wouldn’t live with him either he sounds quite volatile and you probably need to get him some help to manage his anger.

[AwdBovril]

Does your son not understand that actions have consequences? If not, why not?

[Singlenotsingle]

He's an adult at 18 and he is old enough to know better. Hopefully no one has cleared his mess up? First he clears it up (properly), then the apology, and then a serious talk.

[WTBE]

Oh jesus I'm trying to imagine if I had headbutted a step parent because I was asked to clean up my alcohol induced vomit! Unless there is a serious back story then I'm with your DH on this one, I would probably suggest your son not returning until your home from work.

[WTBE]

Sorry think I misread, have you returned home and your DH is insisting on your son not returning? Maybe arrange to have a conversation, however the assaulted person has a right to not want to be in the same room.

[wireswireswires]

Totally get why you're upset, he's your son.

But, this needs to be a lesson for him! If he's going to be an angry drunk he needs to get that under control. If he does this to someone else he could end up in prison or seriously hurting someone.

[RainbowWaffles]

My son knows he was out of order and is willing to apologise. My other half says he’s not welcome in our home unless the apology is good enough. I’m stuck in the middle. My partner and I are hardly speaking.

It was sensible for one of them to leave to prevent further escalation at the time and it makes sense it was the violent party not the victim. Your son is lucky the police were not called.

His response seems fair enough, your son is welcome back if he apologizes, but it has to be a proper apology and not a reluctant forced ‘I’m sorry’. Your son is willing to apologize, well he had better make it decent. He should so regardless given that he headbutted him.

I don’t see the problem. A problem may arise if your son apologizes and it is deemed insufficient, but cross that bridge when you come to it.

[RainbowWaffles]

If he had been arrested and charged, he would likely have bail conditions not to go to the property if your DH said he didn’t want him back and was scared. You’re lucky frankly.