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Different standards

(8 Posts)
jenniferazp Tue 29-Jan-19 10:00:49

Live with my dp and my children . Came home last night and within 2 min of getting in he is complaining they both left hall light on when left house that morning . I come home after going out later and he had left lights on upstairs so I say you have left lights on and I will turn them off . Develops in to an argument where I say you can’t complain about someone then do the same thing he says it’s outrageous he can’t say anything in his home . Lights are an issue with him but he leaves them on too . I don’t care about the lights just about the complaining.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 29-Jan-19 11:03:45

He sounds annoying.

Redbus1030 Tue 29-Jan-19 11:17:46

How long have you lived together? does he have any DC too? It does sound annoying but I can say from his POV that it's unlikley to be just the lights and possibly lots of little things that are re-ocurring and slowly eating at him.
I have been there, it's not cool as you end up nic picking (and you know you do it but cant seem to rain it in) but you also feel unheard and out of control/out numbered in your own home.
Does he feel he has the support to tell them himself to turn lights off rather than telling tales to you?
Could you all sit together and lay out the things that are most annoying for you all as family? for all humans they have their things that grate their gears yet other things they are happy to pick thier battles, it's making sure everone is clear on them.
Mine were for example:
- Toilet flushing
- Greediness with food i.e eating everyone elses share without a care
- basic table manors

My DH had his own short list, we all agreed to be mindful of these button pushers.

Redbus1030 Tue 29-Jan-19 11:19:39

I should add he can not expect the double standards though, if he wants them to turn lights off he must too!

Spanglyprincess1 Tue 29-Jan-19 14:29:27

My dad was like this and with turning heating on. If it's the only thing then let it slide, some people have different buttons to everyone else.
Mines toys left everywhere as baby just eats them as learning to crawl but do isn't bothered by toys everywhere

HeckyPeck Tue 29-Jan-19 21:40:51

if he wants them to turn lights off he must too!

Yep!

Blendingrock Tue 29-Jan-19 22:33:07

My DH constantly moans that the kids leave plates, cups, glasses etc etc in the lounge, or their rooms and why can't they just pick them up and put them in the kitchen... yet he does exactly the same thing!

It's been pointed out to him that it's a classic case of "Do as I say not do as I do" but it's made not one iota of difference.

In your case I think Redbus is right - he's blowing off about that, but there's possibly something else going on. Have a quiet word, see if you can get to the bottom of it. Either way, if he wants the kids to turn the lights turned off, he has do it too OR not go off at you/them when they leave them on.

SandyY2K Thu 31-Jan-19 19:51:31

Not related to stepchildren...my DH complains about this sometimes and when I say he does it, his response is he pays the electricity bill.

I've said it should be about energy efficiency and not money.

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