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Marriage and Step Children

(3 Posts)
SoapandGory Sun 13-Jan-19 13:36:18

Me and DP are engaged and he has 2 children from previous relationship.

He and his ex had been split up 2 years prior to us meeting and we have been together 3 nearly 4 years.

I get on with his children very well, never had any problems including with his exP. They get on fairly amicably with only the occasional disagreement over parenting in the years I've been here. Me and DPs ex are friendly and never had any drama between us so I feel very lucky at how it has all shaped up considering some of the issues people seem to have.

The children seem very excited about the wedding, have been asking about it, what they can do to be involved and so on. DPs ex also congratulated us and said she was happy for us etc..

However, very occasionally, the children will say something along the lines of 'will mummy be jealous/upset?'. DP has gently explained about mummy and daddy not being in love anymore but that they love them and are both happy but if they are ever worried they can talk to him or mummy etc...

I genuinely don't believe this has come from DPs ex. She has always been very accepting and has never indicated she wants to be with him or is upset over our relationship. She is also now with someone I believe.

I'm hoping this is just normal child curiosity and not some form of deeper upset about me and DP marrying. I would hate to cause them any sadness, they really are lovely kids.

I myself had divorced parents growing up and I do understand that there will always be a small part of a child that wishes their parents were together. My mother remarried when I was a similar age to the eldest and I remember being slightly sad that it was the end of any possibility but also happy because I really do like my step father. Now I'm an adult I would never wish my parents back together, they were toxic and are much happier apart but of course, children don't see things the same as adults.

Do you think I need to be concerned? Has anyone had something similar when marrying a man with children?

OP’s posts: |
swingofthings Sun 13-Jan-19 14:09:33

How old are they? Is she with someone else? If not they might just mean that she might be upset that she is still unattached herself and assume she's lonely.

SoapandGory Sun 13-Jan-19 16:15:35

swingofthings 10 and 8.

She is with someone I believe although I think it's fairly new so likely children don't know/haven't met them.

OP’s posts: |

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