So I was talking to SD (12) as she was getting dressed to leave to her mother's house. My DP was already in the car. Suddenly, I see her quietly putting in the pocket of her jacket my son's fidget cube. My son has anxiety so he uses it quiet a lot, so I was surprised and asked whether he gave it to her. My son was standing close and said no. She said: but you have two of them! Then, she opened the door and left.
Few minutes later it occurred to me that the toy in question wasn't normally next to the door, so she put it there along with another object that she didn't want to forget in advance. She had to pass by my son, but she didn't bother to ask and I guess she didn't expect me to stand there while she was getting dressed.
Recently, she asked me to give her my son's drawing tablet that was given to him by my mom. She likes drawing and when I said no, it's a gift, she said: but he doesn't use it anyways (she comes EOW, so she doesn't really know) and I draw better than him. So I guess she just didn't want to hear a no this time.
She does have a habit of taking things mine and my son's without asking and I already told her that it's not ok (ex. using my brushes without permission, eventhough we had lice issues before, and then leaving them in her closet, where I would find it by accident or taking my necklaces and braking them, etc.). But while things stayed in our house, I told myself that it wasn't the end of the world. My son told me already that sometimes a certain toy would dissapear, so who knows.
What worries me is this attitude that it's ok to take whatever she wants (however, she makes sure to never leave anything of hers behind when she goes back to her mom's, so she knows that it's not ok).
Next time I'll see her will be in two weeks. My DP doesn't like scolding her unless he witnesses wrong behaviour and if he has to talk to her, he wants to wait until she comes here (he also visits her in her place, but he doesn't scold her there). I know that he will forget by then, he has tons of things on his mind.
What would you do? Send a message to her mother with whom I rarely communicate, but who has the biggest influence on her? Remind her father to talk to her in two weeks (because she's more scared of him, so more chances that she will listen) or talk to her yourself?
I already started hiding certain things that she might take, but I also think that someone has to educate this girl.
P.S. If you want to tell me that I'm a resentful SM, don't waste your energy, it doesn't bother me. I'd like constructive advice.
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3 replies
Anuta77 · 29/12/2018 17:57
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