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How was everyone’s Christmas with or without DSCs?

(14 Posts)
Bananasinpyjamas11 Thu 27-Dec-18 18:41:04

I know some people were unsure about how their Christmas would go, either because the DSCs were coming, weren’t coming, or your relationships were at breaking point because of step / ex issues.

How did it go?

I’ve had many a step Christmas, and I know it can be tricky. To any SMs I hope that it went as well as can be!

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Thu 27-Dec-18 20:12:13

All good bananas till today when I’d happily move out if I could be bothered to pack a bag, or murder them grin But I’m pregnant and massive, achy, exhausted, completely worn myself out doing way too much cooking and hosting and they’re overtired, overstimulated, probably eaten too much sugar. It’ll pass!

They loved their gifts, chose beautiful thoughtful presents for DH and me, ate their vegetables and have embraced all the festive hoohah even though they’re a bit too old to really believe and we all know they’re pandering to us grin It’s been good. Even when they nearly flooded the bathroom at least it was because they were playing nicely together.

I just need a fucking break from everyone, not only them, and I told DH yesterday I wasn’t going to surface much today unless the house was on fire so he could have some quality dad time. They’ve cooked, been to the park, watcher Christmas films and will hopefully be in bed before too long.

How’s yours been? Hope you’re well.

Atleastihavethecat Thu 27-Dec-18 21:36:36

Lovely Christmas despite no DSC, and angry, drunk texts from the ex. Fortunately, we just found it quite funny, and it's more evidence in DPS favour for court etc. Just waiting now til January to see the DSC and do presents, but overall we've had a really good Christmas.

How was yours?

Bananasinpyjamas11 Thu 27-Dec-18 23:04:56

@anne sorry you are exhausted, it’s so tiring at the last stages. Good you did just remove yourself and let DH sort everyone out. Next year you will have a small extra one! I loved that they got you and DH thoughtful gifts. That shows a really nice bond, one I’m sure you’ve earned through a lot of work over a long time.

@atleast sorry you had texts around this time from the Ex - but good you and DP were not sucked into the negativity. Humour is a good way to deal with it! Hope you have a nice time with DSCs when you do see them. Christmas was always meant to be a longer celebration, rather than just one day, so hopefully it’ll be good then.

I’ve had a step free Christmas for the first time in a long time, and it was really nice. I had my two sons, with their cousins and my wider family, all out for lunch, walks and games, a lot of warmth and laughing. It was good for my boys just to feel so relaxed, and welcome. And me too. Probably the best Christmas for a long time. The ones with my step kids felt tense, as of they didn’t want to be there, or my DP missed them when they weren’t, so always a bit jaded. DP is now Ex and he had Christmas with his siblings, without any of his kids. I was interested to see if they’d actually spend more time with him without me there, as I’m often blamed for why they don’t make the effort. However they just stated at their Mums apparently. That’s a bit of a shame.

OP’s posts: |
Lovelife12345 Fri 28-Dec-18 07:53:20

Our Christmas was amazing, kids loved every minute of it, good food and company. Just me, my partner and boys for Christmas lunch and day until 4 and then we went up to my mums. Kids spoilt rotten and happy. Very pleased about their holidays next year as we told them Christmas Day.
My partner is doing Christmas Day part 2 today, off to get the train to his mums after work.. his mum apparently has booked cinema tickets, so he's has to change a few things round, he will visit his dad tonight and then they'll all cuddle down on the floor ready to wake up tomorrow and do the other half of their presents (as they opened some up last time we went up.) and have Christmas lunch before he gets the train home. Had a few stroppy texts of the ex but in end we just turned his phone off so all is good x

stuffedpeppers Fri 28-Dec-18 13:44:46

Lovelife - when will you stop - glad you and your kids had an amazing time, shame the rest of your family got treated so badly.

Must be really nice knowing that OHs DCs, get to sleep on the floor with their Dad for 24 hrs of Xmas - suppose that is better than sleeping on the floor at your place!! 24 hrs for his DCs over the whole Xmas period - says it all.

NorthernSpirit Fri 28-Dec-18 14:09:43

I’m sitting in our front room with the door shut about to cry.

OH isn’t speaking to me as I said I wanted to be on my own today. Underlying issue is that i’m shattered - have been working long hours, I’ve run round everyone for 4 days. DSC (10 & 13) can’t do anything for themselves, all their stuff is all over the house because they are unable to do anything, pick up after themselves (rather they won’t), they can’t lay a table, get themselves breakfast, wash a dish, remember to brush their own teeth, remember to wash their face or get dressed without being asked.

Tried to talk to my OH about him pandering to them and bring a Disney Dad. Errupted into an argument.

So OH and his kids are sitting in the back room watching TV. Don’t think the kids have even acknowledged i’m I’m the house today. DSD (13) who is the worlds fussiest eater is ignoring me after I asked her for the umpteenth time not to eat her dinner with her hands (at that age I expect kids to be able to eat with cutlery).

We’ve had the kids since Sun and i’m at breaking point.

Garbled mini rant over.

Happy New Year all x

HappyStep1 Fri 28-Dec-18 17:07:55

Hi Bananas, hope your son had a great Christmas.

I am so lucky, the DSC were funny, engaging and good company, however, there have been nightmare Christmases in the past that I can't make my mind revisit 😂

Bananasinpyjamas11 Sun 30-Dec-18 00:23:35

@northern it can get very intense at Christmas, especially if you just end up feeling like a skivvy to kids and OH isn’t pulling his weight. Hope it resolves itself.

@happystep sounds like the painful Christmas past has turned into something good, I’m pleased for you. My sons had a fantastic Christmas, one of the best yet really.

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Lizabells174 Sun 30-Dec-18 13:15:11

We flew 15000km as we are based overseas for work. We planned on surprising everyone but told the kids mum as soon as we booked so she had at least 2 months to make arrangements.

Just before we arrived, the cat was let out the bag. Kids ended up missing their Christmas with their brother and dad as their mum was on her own. Her parents live 2 mins from where we are staying and were welcoming guests as I drove past after dropping the stepkids off to her. She said she was too busy cooking to pick them up - cooking for 4 - we were cooking for 15 with a toddler, so she quickly had a vodka and couldn't drive either.

She promised she'd bring them over on Boxing Day as stepson was going to football with his dad - something they always used to do together before we Had to move for work. Funnily enough, come Boxing Day she'd been up drinking til 4am so was in no fit state to drive!

I do everything I do for the kids but I really want to have it out with her once we fly back to work so she doesn't cause issues with the kids!!!

Why are they so petty and hateful?

HappyStep1 Sun 30-Dec-18 17:59:24

@bananas so pleased you and your boys had such a lovely time, talking with a family member today who has life changing health problems, life really is too short for wasting on things that bring you no joy or benefit smile

Livedandlearned Mon 31-Dec-18 19:15:03

Our Christmas was a bit strained and could have been better. Nice to hear about others having a nice time though, it's all up and down with blended families isn't it, my dh is turning into a PITA but that's not unusual...

Bananasinpyjamas11 Fri 04-Jan-19 22:53:32

@lizabells sounds tough and complicated! Hope you had a good Christmas though.
@happystep very true. I spent new year with a friend who has a life limiting illness too, they wouldn’t waste a second on petty crap from mean people, and I’m just lucky to have that kind of friend in my life.
@lived no unfortunately not that unusual for Dads to turn into pita by these boards! I wonder if it made you feel next year could be better?

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Livedandlearned Sat 05-Jan-19 22:03:52

Bananas he's having counselling, I have my fingers crossed for a better year, and Christmas!

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