I'm a childless stepmum who has acquired a lovely 16yr old step son who is living with me and his dad, whilst he goes to college. He's not necessarily the concern. It's the fact that my partner is still friendly with his son's mother. When I first met my partner he struggled at first as he always thought he might get back with his wife at some point, even though she had been married to her second husband for 6yrs.
However, she has now announced that she's separated from her 2nd husband. I've always suspected that she still holds a torch for my partner.
Sadly, she's recently lost her mother. She's asked my partner to join her and their son to attend the funeral. She's suggested they stay over night in a hotel with her and her son from a previous relationship. My partner was bewildered when I said I was uncomfortable with this, particularly as he didn't like his ex mother in law.
Whenever I question this, I'm told I'm being stupid and that it's important for him that he maintains the relationship with his ex for the sake of their son. He said he still loves his ex, but only as a 'sister'. This just makes it difficult for me to discuss any of my apprehension because it makes me feel like a bad step mum. In addition. I do like his ex wife, I'm just confused, as this is me territory for me.
I'm also beginning to imagine what will happen at Christmas. It's my first Christmas away from my family, and we're very close: my partner wanted to stay at home to be with his son, so we agreed that I'd go to my sister's for Christmas, whilst he stayed at home. This was ok with both of us. However, I can imagine that my step son will feel bad that his mother, having spilt up from her husband, lost her mother, and this will be the first Christmas that she's had without her son, he will probably ask if she and his half brother can spend Christmas with him and my partner whilst I'm away Christmas day. Am I wrong to feel uncomfortable with this?
I should add, that since moving in together I've been enjoying our gourmet meals and drinks together and have packed the weight on, so now feel threatened by the ever energetic, trim ex.
Confused and feeling insecure, but not sure if I'm just over sensitive.
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Step-parenting
Childless stepmum and partner's ex, the mum
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Fatgirlfromiowa · 09/12/2018 23:53
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