What food do you do for Christmas celebrations?

[PoesyCherish]

If you don't see your DSCs on Christmas Day and so celebrate it with them at a later date, what do you do for your Christmas lunch with them? Do you still do Turkey and all the trimmings or do you do something different?

We'd like to make Christmas special for DSD although sadly we're not allowed to see her until almost a week later. We don't want to do Turkey and all the trimmings. What can we do instead?

[Thierryhenryneedisaymore]

What age is she and what does she like to eat?
Being nosey, but why would you not be 'allowed' to see her until a week after christmas?

[PoesyCherish]

She's almost 7. She likes to eat almost anything tbh. Re not being allowed to see her - because her Mother has decided her and her family's plans are more important for almost the whole of December. DP hasn't had a single Christmas with her since they separated almost 6 years ago as she won't let him.

[Thierryhenryneedisaymore]

I would ask her what she would like to do.

Not seeing her for that time is ridiculous. He should take legal advice on that. Does he have an agreement where she dictates all contact then? She does not get to make all the decisions. She is one of two parents.

[PoesyCherish]

Not seeing her for that time is ridiculous. He should take legal advice on that. Does he have an agreement where she dictates all contact then? She does not get to make all the decisions. She is one of two parents.

Yes I agree. His agreement they got from mediation was every other weekend Friday to Sunday plus half of all holidays. Yeah that didn't pan out... the second she walked away from mediation she changed her mind and said no I didn't agree to that. They've been twice now and both times she agreed with xyz and then changed it. Beats me why they didn't agree set arrangements for Christmas but then what's the point if she's going to go back on it.

[MissMalice]

Yes we still do turkey. We celebrate early rather than late if we can’t be together on Christmas Day. Agreements made in mediation can be made into a consent order. Has she gone back on everything or just Christmas contact?

[PoesyCherish]

@MissMalice she's gone back on everything. He's 'allowed' one week in the summer holidays because ex wants to go to a festival He had to fight tooth and nail to get a second week in the summer holidays. Half terms he's 'allowed' his every other weekend and that's it. She's mostly stuck to the every other weekend except December where he's allowed to see her for one weekend (this weekend) and not again until 30th Dec as ex's plans are "more important"

[Bananasinpyjamas11]

You could ask the step kids? I did a big roast but not turkey. Chicken and ham. Or whatever they asked for. Lots of roast potatoes!

I did crackers and party games though.

[Workreturner]

Just do her absolute fav food

Plus loads of crackers!

[SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad]

I agree with those saying talk to her about what she's like to eat.

As for the access arrangements- time to lawyer up. She's clearly got no interest in co-parenting constructively, and you cant bekueve a wird she says at mediation. So if I were your other half, id have long since been in court. No point in getting fed up about what she will and won't 'allow' if he's not going to fight for the chance to be a fully involved father.

[PoesyCherish]

Why do these threads always descend into "you should go to court". I wasn't asking whether we should go to court I was asking for info on what people do regarding food.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

I would do the turkey all over again, with a turkey crown rather than a whole turkey depending on the number I was feeding.

If you don't want to do that I guess any other kind of roast? Nothing else really feels Christmassy to me.

[Livelovebehappy]

TBH it seems like he does get access to dc as planned every other weekend until it gets to December, so why stress over that? Yes it’s not fair, but I think for the short period of time being discussed it doesn’t warrant dragging things through the Courts. OP, I would probably go for something different from what dc has probably been having with DMs family, and maybe take her to the supermarket with you to pick out some buffet food which maybe she could help you prepare? A tradition you can then carry on every year to make it different.

[rageymcrageface]

we're not allowed to see her

Its ended up about court because you said this. You seemed to think it was worth a mention (and voluntarily expanded on how your partner hadn't a had a single Christmas with her) until you were told your DP should be doing more about that.

[VimFuego101]

I have in the past cooked 2 Xmas dinners so DSD could have 'Christmas dinner' with us. But if you don't want to do that I'd just have Christmas pudding and crackers again along with her favourite meal. Not sure most kids are really fussed about turkey.

[ghostsandghoulies]

My kids often have their special meal with their Dad on Boxing Day. He does a ham or leg of lamb with mash and trimmings while I do a chicken (kids are meh about turkey) with roast potatoes and trimmings.

What's her favourite meal? My parents were expats and when we lived in countries where turkey wasn't available, we had steak instead.

[user1493413286]

We often do a turkey even though DSD has had it the day before and she doesn’t mind. Could you just do a roast or do her favourite meal to make it totally different?

[Littletabbyocelot]

My mum would always do a help yourself buffet when she got boxing day. It was fantastic. Just lots of our favourite food that we could help ourselves to while we played games, read, watched movies etc.