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Sleeping Arrangements for SD, DS and Baby

(33 Posts)
Tia12 Mon 05-Nov-18 20:46:27

I’m just looking for a bit of advice really, we have a 3 bedroom house, 1 bedroom downstairs and 2 upstairs, no attic as it’s a dorma bungalow. My husband and I currently have the downstairs bedroom, my 12 year old SD has the larger room upstairs with small en-suite (she sleeps over 1 night a week) so we have also used this room as a guest room for when my parents/family come to stay (they live 7 hours away). We have a sofa bed in the lounge which at the moment SD enjoys the novelty of getting to sleep on when they visit. My 3 year old DS has the smaller upstairs bedroom. It has worked well so far (been in the house 3 years now) however we now have a baby boy on the way and I am trying to figure out the best sleeping arrangements for everyone. Any advice would be much appreciated 😊

OP’s posts: |
Mondaytired Mon 05-Nov-18 20:49:48

If your DSD only sleeps once a week might make more sense for her to be in the smaller room... and DS3 to share with new born?
Realistically new born won’t be in the room till he’s what 6 months old?

Penisbeakerismyfavethread Mon 05-Nov-18 20:50:59

2 boys in the big room?

AuntMarch Mon 05-Nov-18 20:53:53

Step daughter has the choice of the smaller room or sharing with the baby. (Then you aren't just kicking her out of her space, but she won't fancy that! )

IStandWithPosie Mon 05-Nov-18 20:55:14

How big is the smaller bedroom? Would it fit two singles or a bunk bed?

I’d want to keep the bedroom with ensuite for guests as an ensuite is very handy for guests and two little ones won’t really use it but if it in their room it prevents guests from using it once DC are asleep.

Tia12 Mon 05-Nov-18 21:11:57

The baby will be with us for first 6 months but I’m trying to plan long term, the small room that DS is in will only fit one person really, with space for small wardrobe and drawers/desk. I thought about SD in small room to herself (privacy etc) and two boys in the larger room but I was thinking the baby crying through the night will unsettle the 3 year olds sleep/routine? Plus would it be unfair to have the boys who live here 24/7 share a room while the other is empty 6 nights a week? Then I thought that baby could have small room and SD and DS could share big room - get 2 single beds and maybe try to divide it a bit and decorate each side? I’m so confused what to do for the best as I want things to be fair to everyone, due to financial restrictions moving to somewhere bigger just isn’t an option.

OP’s posts: |
Spam88 Mon 05-Nov-18 21:16:31

Your SD is too old to expect her to share with your son. Both boys in the big room and step daughter in the little room. Possibly keep the baby in with you past 6 months if he's still waking a lot.

IStandWithPosie Mon 05-Nov-18 21:19:08

Yes if baby isn’t sleeping through then keep him without you otherwise you’ll be traipsing up and down the stairs every time.

IStandWithPosie Mon 05-Nov-18 21:19:24

with you.

user1486915549 Mon 05-Nov-18 21:20:05

If I was a 13 year old girl and was expected to share with a 3 year old boy I wouldn’t stay over any more.

Willow1992 Mon 05-Nov-18 21:34:11

We just moved and had a similar situation with my stepson 11, DS 4 and baby DD on the way. I think it's nice to give the older step child a choice. DSS had the choice to either take the small room or share the largest room with DS. He adores DS and was dead keen to share with him as it turned out so it's not always the mean option.

Tia12 Mon 05-Nov-18 21:52:22

Thanks for all advice and comments, I guess at the end of the day I know it’s a sensitive issue for SD and I want to make sure she doesn’t feel pushed out in any way. Our 3 year old is still waking through the night (once or twice) so we are up and down the stairs anyway, he is a very light sleeper. We decided to be downstairs as it felt safer for SD and DS to be upstairs and we didn’t want SD to feel left out if she was downstairs on her own at night. SD seems to be keen and happy with the idea of sharing but as she becomes a teenager I’m wondering if that might suddenly change, I think she likes having the bigger room with en-suite and doesn’t want to give that up even if it means sharing?

OP’s posts: |
redastherose Mon 05-Nov-18 22:24:00

Definitely give SD the choice. Keep current bedroom and share with baby until he's older or have smaller room on her own. You can look at the arrangement again when baby is older or if he is disturbing her too much. Don't kick her out of the big room or give you DC's both bedrooms she will feel pushed out and unloved if she is relegated to the sofa permanently.

WhiteCat1704 Tue 06-Nov-18 08:06:13

I'm not sure...as she is only st yours 1night per week she should share with someone..how about you give her babys room and have the baby sleep with you when she visits?

Snappedandfarted2018 Tue 06-Nov-18 08:12:49

Guidelines say children over the age of 10 should not share with the opposite sex so it would be massively inappropriate for her to share with her 3year old brother. The two boys need to share the bigger room and leave the smaller room for you’re dsd. Surely you thought about this before you tried for a baby?

Buggeritimgettingup Tue 06-Nov-18 08:28:54

What guidlines!?

SunnyintheSun Tue 06-Nov-18 08:35:32

According to the Canadian National Occpancy Standards children of opposite sexes over the age of 5 should not share a room! meteor.aihw.gov.au/content/index.phtml/itemId/386254

TheVanguardSix Tue 06-Nov-18 08:36:30

I'm with the others.
The little ones share small room, keep SD in the bigger/guest room.
My two younger ones share a small room (now 8 and 4 years old).

You'll have time to work out the kinks since your little one will be sleeping in your room for a while. Ikea Trofast storage systems really allowed us to expand DD's room into a shared bedroom when our then-baby 'moved in'. grin Anyway, it's worked out really well over the years. They have a bunkbed (which DD shared with big brother when big brother shared a room with her years ago).

TheVanguardSix Tue 06-Nov-18 08:39:38

guidelines.
Oy veh! hmm

We work with what we have, OP. Don't let the guidelines brigade get you down.

junebirthdaygirl Tue 06-Nov-18 08:45:31

My thought was the same as Whitecat. Baby with you for first 6 months. Baby in guest room in a cot after that but back to you for that one night a week.
Can eventually share with ds in big room in a few years.
Maybe by then sd couuld sleep downstairs?

Snappedandfarted2018 Tue 06-Nov-18 09:47:04

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-protection-system/legal-definition-child-rights-law/bedroom-sharing-moving-out/

adaline Tue 06-Nov-18 09:56:43

Things can stay as they are for now, but eventually, put SD in the smaller room, baby and 3yo can share the larger room.

Please don't make your step-daughter share with a toddler/baby.

Cherries101 Tue 06-Nov-18 12:57:54

Baby with you until the 3 yo is able to sleep through the night. Your SD room remains as is.

HouseworkIsASin10 Tue 06-Nov-18 13:05:53

Give SD the option of smaller room upstairs, or larger room downstairs.
Either way she can't keep the large en-suite under the circumstances.

Howdoyoudoit31 Tue 06-Nov-18 20:00:01

SD goes in small room which then becomes a guest room when she’s not here and your two share the big room.

Or sd and 3 year old share and baby gets the small room.
Your SD can sleep on the new pull out sofa if she hates it.

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