Child Maintenance?

(60 Posts)
MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 18:14:38

My partner pays maintenance for 2 kids - one is now over the age of 16 and has a full time job (i.e not eligible for maintenance payments anymore). He phoned the CMS 4 weeks ago to advise them of this and obviously they need to go and check with the ex - they aren't on speaking terms. He says his payments will change automatically and he will be advised via letter once she stops claiming child benefit. I don't think she will do this off her own back though!
Should we be phoning to check on progress of this? Will any change in payments be backdated?

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Chucklecheeks1 Mon 22-Oct-18 18:40:02

I didn't know kids become free once they hit 16.

Oldbutstillgotit Mon 22-Oct-18 18:41:31

YOU shouldn’t be doing anything - it’s up to your DP. I had this years ago with my ex’s new wife ; she tried to tell me to deal with her regarding finances. No chance.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 18:57:44

My partner was asking me about it earlier and I thought I could get some advice here! Wow on those responses, thanks guys 

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AliceRR Mon 22-Oct-18 19:00:55

I think you / DP should be calling them from time to time to make sure it is being dealt with

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig Mon 22-Oct-18 19:14:01

I wasn't aware that anyone could leave school and get a full time job at 16 anymore. You're in education or on an apprenticeship until 18 now so if it's an apprenticeship they're doing I think the mother still gets child benefit.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 19:15:50

Nope, he works in a fast food restaurant full time. No college or apprenticeships. Pays the mum rent too! Not fair really that my partner is still paying his ex for him when she is also charging him rent!

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Chucklecheeks1 Mon 22-Oct-18 19:24:26

He doesn't 'pay' his ex for him. He supports his child. But hey you carry on finding a way to get out of supporting his child.

His mum will still be supporting him.

Oldbutstillgotit Mon 22-Oct-18 19:51:12

Minimum wage for a 16 year old is £4.20 an hour. Hardly a fortune.

Harpingon Mon 22-Oct-18 19:54:17

Bloody hell! That's awful : ( poor child.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 19:56:45

He supports his child in other ways. Not just maintenance - financially and otherwise. The maintenance payment is going straight in the ex's pocket and nowhere near the child. Don't judge a situation without knowing the facts.
My simple question just required a simple answer. Rude.

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LaurieFairyCake Mon 22-Oct-18 20:00:15

Well here's a simple answer

He should be financially supporting his kid who lives with his mum until he's 18 or so.

Full time in McDonald's wont be buying him much

LaurieFairyCake Mon 22-Oct-18 20:00:58

And if you think people are posting without knowing the facts that your problem as them clearly you haven't told anyone 

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:09:20

No, not true. He pays maintenance to his ex through the child maintenance service who work out payments using a calculation of wages etc. My partner is not looking to get out of supporting his child, he is looking to make the correct payments through the maintenance service based on how their formulation for calculating it. Supporting your child takes many forms, not just maintenance payments (which, by the by, aren't even spent on the child).
Don't make assumptions.

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LaurieFairyCake Mon 22-Oct-18 20:13:40

I don't understand

Why are you saying maintenance payments aren't spent on the child? I thought you said he lived with his mum?

Apologies if he doesn't live in a room in her house while turning lights on, having showers, eating food, using the Internet.

TheCatWhisperer Mon 22-Oct-18 20:14:28

The maintenance payment is going straight in the ex's pocket and nowhere near the child. Don't judge a situation without knowing the facts.

Does he not live with his mum then? Use electricity/gas/internet, eat food she buys? I'd be rather concerned if a dp of mine was in such a rush to stop supporting his child, says a lot about his character. Maybe he could live with you guys, afterall doesn't cost anything to have a teen living with you, a little bit of board money should cover absolutely everything right?

Iaimtomisbehave1 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:16:05

So do you not think that paying the bills to put a roof over that child's head for the last x number of years counts? I presume she has been feeding the kids for the last few years as well?

Child maintenance isn't pocket money for the child. It's to pay for housing and feeding them.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:21:02

Again, I wasn't asking for the rights and wrongs of child support, I was asking a specific question about the child maintenance service.
Context - he lived with us for 10 years. Moved to his mum's to be closer to his work 6 months ago. Since then she has moved in with her boyfriend yet not declared this. We support him by buying a weekly food shop, topping up his electricity meter and he also comes for dinner most nights. We supply all his clothes and toiletries, as if he still lived with us. He has an older sibling who supervises him in the home and he is happy there. So, no, my partner is not trying to get out of supporting his child, he is trying to get out of lining his ex's pocket (who doesn't work yet has had 4 foreign holidays this year) and, yes, we can categorically say that none of the maintenance money he pays is being spent on the child.
My original question still stands.

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Hellohah Mon 22-Oct-18 20:21:32

I always read on here about "family" money. When a fella gives a woman an allowance or isn't forthcoming about money, it's all LTB, he's controlling etc. But when a partner asks questions about the blokes maintenance, they are told to stay out of it.
The money the OP's partner pays for his kids does have something to do with the OP, more or less impacts on her life FFS.

ohreallyohreallyoh Mon 22-Oct-18 20:25:48

Since then she has moved in with her boyfriend yet not declared this

You couldn’t possibly know that.

*But I can assure you that I whole heartedly enjoy winding up the ex along these lines.

TheCatWhisperer Mon 22-Oct-18 20:27:53

So he doesn't actually live with his mum then? That information might have been useful in your first post. Yes in that case I would be chasing them up regularly but I think you'll need to tell them she no longer lives with her son.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:27:55

It does. His son from a previous relationship (who I care for as my own!) costs us far more than what our own biological child costs. I don't grudge it, he's a great kid (as is his other child who he pays for). But I do grudge lining his ex wife's pocket for no reason.
I shouldn't have had to explain all that as I asked a simple question, and was looking for a simple answer yet just got bombarded with abuse. Hard work!

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MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:29:24

He lives with his mum on paper. She stays at her own house perhaps 1/2 times a week. We can't force her to declare it to the relevant agencies but we can stop lining her pockets where not necessary. We know she hasn't declared it otherwise we would have been advised to stop all maintainence payments.

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TheCatWhisperer Mon 22-Oct-18 20:35:35

Surely your dp has only being paying for 6 months though if he lived with you prior to that? Just stop paying, they'll investigate and find that maintenance wasn't payable I would think.

MumApr18 Mon 22-Oct-18 20:39:32

He has another child, who also lives at the ex's house and has never lived with us so has been paying maintenance for that child for 12 years. We also see that child regularly and spend above and beyond on that child too. He can't stop maintenance payments as is he, rightly, still paying for her (despite it not being spent on her!) but, on paper, that child is still eligible.
He says he will phone them tomorrow and see what the hold up is. We are debating whether to mention the change in circumstances, he says he should but I think it's not worth meddling. Not sure.

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