Hi everyone,
I've just joined this site and I'm hoping to get some advice on step parenting.
myself and my boyfriend have been together for a year now. We've had our difficult times like any normal couple but after breaking up we're in the best space ever. I am also 15 weeks pregnant with my first child - im so excited
my boyfriend has a son aged 13 from his previous relationship. he was never married to this woman and from what he told me (and what I hear from his family) it was a very toxic relationship. he does not see his son often and there is actually no set visiting time. I have been assessing the situation and it seems as if the kid only wants to see his dad when he wants something. the same goes for contacting his father - it only happens when he wants money or clothes other than that he will not even read his father's messages.
I understand that having your parents spilt can be difficult, I also understand that an adults influence - if bad - can be detrimental for a child. but I also feel that this should not be an accuse. my bopyfriend is a great dad and his family is too. the kid has spent ample time with them however it seems as though he is a replica of his mother.
I try my best to make him feel comfortable - fix him a plate (even run the shower for him but my home turns into a war zone every time he visits. why am I running a bath for a 13 year old? because around his father he is the biggest baby - baby voice, constant need for attention, behind his father's back he acts like an 18 year old, rude ill-mannered and lies.
when he is not around we are able to work through any problem we may have in a decent manner, so if either one of us is upset we take some time to cool off and then we talk. however when the kid visits my boyfriend shouts, uses foul language and refuses to listen to a word I have to say. he has also told me that he knows his son is very spoilt and manipulative however he seems to forget everything when the kid comes over.
he found out that we're having a baby and he has tried to run into me with his fists out towards my belly twice already. I don't know what to do anymore. this is the happiest I have ever been in my life but when he visits I feel like telling my boyfriend I am leaving him. when I tell my boyfriend that he has been rude he will correct him and ask him to apologise, he then lies and says it never happened that way. I end up looking like the evil step mom. I have my own baby on the way and I don't need this unnecessary stress. I am also scared that if he is trying to hurt me know what wont he do to the baby?
please help
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Step-parenting
please help ... first time step mom
9 replies
seqmom · 08/10/2018 12:21
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