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Step-parenting

trying to 'suck it up' and put on a brave face

21 replies

Fairystepsthought · 06/10/2018 13:11

I'm really trying to ignore the fact that I'm not invited to my DSD's 18th party tonight - the party that I have organised as per her wishes - I've put the banners up and decorated her room for her this morning but I'm struggling. Been in her life for 9 years. Does it ever get better or is this the reality check for the way things will go? Sad

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Knittedfairies · 06/10/2018 13:14

That sucks. Are you sure it’s not just assumed you’ll be there, or were you actively told you weren’t to attend?

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PeridotCricket · 06/10/2018 13:16

is your partner going?

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Fairystepsthought · 06/10/2018 13:19

yes OH going to pick up pressies and pay bill and now Ex wife has muscled in and is going

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WatchingFromTheWings · 06/10/2018 13:21

If she's asked you to organise it maybe she's just assumed you will be there and didn't think to specifically ask you/give you an invite? Tbh I'd probably just turn up along with your DH!

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auntyflonono · 06/10/2018 13:25

Go anyway? If anyone says something say of course I am here, she is my step daughter and I organised it!

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auntyflonono · 06/10/2018 13:26

Also if you are not going then your DH shouldn't either.

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feathermucker · 06/10/2018 13:27

Are you sure you're not invited; has she specifically said that?

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Oldbutstillgotit · 06/10/2018 13:30

Why would you not go ?

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BasicUsername · 06/10/2018 13:44

Why aren't you going @Fairystepsthought ?

If you were asked to arrange it all, but you have been specifically told not to attend, then I'd never arrange anything for her again.

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Aprilislonggone · 06/10/2018 13:49

Your dh is an arse if he left you behind imo.

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Wheresthel1ght · 06/10/2018 14:38

Who has said you can't go?

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Cupoteap · 06/10/2018 14:44

Ah now mums decided to go your out

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VimFuego101 · 06/10/2018 14:54

Your DH should be standing up for you here and pointing out that it was rude of her to expect you to organise it but not invite you.

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Spanglyprincess1 · 06/10/2018 17:08

Just go. Sorry you organised it etc so just go unless dsd specifically asked you not to in which case I wouldn't have organised it.
At 18 she should know better and be more respectful

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HeckyPeck · 06/10/2018 20:15

I’m sorry, that’s really shit of her to ask you to arrange a party then not invite you to it.

Did she say why you’re not invited?

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Bananasinpyjamas11 · 06/10/2018 22:28

I would go. Sorry if this is too late, but you should be there.

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SandyY2K · 06/10/2018 22:42

Also if you are not going then your DH shouldn't either

Ridiculous.
It's his daughter. Not going would be putting a woman above his child.

This isnt nice to not invite you OP. Especially after you've helped her decorate.

You say her room. Do you mean the room as in a hall?

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swingofthings · 07/10/2018 07:02

I don't understand the dynamics. Does she live with you? Does it mean you had to be excluded from your house? How's your relationship otherwise? Did you decorate together or did you take it upon yourself to do and when did she say you couldn't go?

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nannytothequeen · 07/10/2018 07:06

Ex wife has muscled in? You mean her mother??!!

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mysteryfairy · 07/10/2018 07:11

How are you this morning?

It sounds like maybe it was a no parents allowed party if DH was just allowed to call in to pick stuff up?

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CherryPavlova · 07/10/2018 07:17

It sounds like it’s a party for her friends rather than family and that her father isn’t really going as anything other than a chequebook and courier ( as father’s often are at this point). A bit odd her mother turning up to a youngsters party unless it was a formal affair.
We do formal 21st rather than 18th birthday events. We didn’t get ‘invited’ to any of our children’s 18th birthday parties except to buy large amounts of cocktails before being pointed quite quickly in the direction of the door. We had a separate family meal in a restaurant, with family friends which was much nicer than loud bar music.

I’m sure no snub is intended - she probably just doesn’t want oldies treading on her grapes.

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