Boyfriends child

(11 Posts)
Bee26 Wed 19-Sep-18 10:36:05

My boyfriend has a two and half year old, we have been together 6 months now and I’ve only met him once. When I first met him, he was really happy that I expected his little boy and loved seeing us together. Since then I haven’t seen his little boy at all and when he has him on a weekend we don’t see each other.
What do I do?
Does he not want me involved in his little boy life?
Is it he ex being a psycho? (We’ve has issues with her before)

OP’s posts: |
Welshmaiden85 Wed 19-Sep-18 10:36:58


Aprilshowersnowastorm Wed 19-Sep-18 10:38:38

Maybe he just wants to enjoy a bf /gf relationship for now??
Your relationship would have it be a very good one to start involving a dc!!
My advice is enjoy what you have as it is for now!!

user1493413286 Wed 19-Sep-18 14:13:24

What does he say about it? I didn’t meet DSD until 6 months in when we were serious as DH didn’t want to be introducing women to DD if they weren’t going to be a serious girlfriend and I loved him more for it.

PatriciaHolm Wed 19-Sep-18 14:34:03

Psycho? Because, perhaps, she's not so keen on her DS having to share the small amount of time he gets with his Dad with the Dad's most recent girlfriend?

Perhaps your boyfriend feels that the relationship needs to be more long term and stable before you really get to know his son. Ask him. But certainly don't leap to conclusions about his child's mother.

hamabr86 Wed 19-Sep-18 14:34:45

I think this is normal, I didn't see much of my DSD's until we had decided we would like to live together. Just the occasional meeting normally with other family around as a 'friend'. I think this is fair as once it became apparent I sticking around the two of them latched onto me and would have probably been very stressed and upset if things had changed, they had already had an awful lot of change in their lives. I wouldn't take this personally at all.

PatriciaHolm Wed 19-Sep-18 14:43:29

On another thread you say you've been together 4 months...

Either way, it's way too soon to be playing step mummies.


sue51 Wed 19-Sep-18 14:44:45

Is the ex a psycho? FFS. You have been together 6 months. If I were this little boy's mother I would expect my boyfriend to only introduce him a girlfriend who would be a permanent fixture in his life. 6 months is not long enough.

Blendingrock Fri 21-Sep-18 03:17:01

Sorry OP, 6 months is pretty quick for your to interact with his son on a regular basis. Relax and enjoy getting to know your boyfriend and just let things develop slowly and naturally.

Without knowing the issues you've had with your boyfriend's ex or what she's doing at the moment, it's impossible to say whether or not she's being psycho. However, as a Mum I'd have wanted my ex to be in a stable, long term relationship with someone before I trusted them with the well being of my children. That's not being psycho, that's being cautious and looking out for your kids.

SD1978 Fri 21-Sep-18 03:25:39

Six months isn't that significant. Well done him on wanting to make sure the relationship is a lo f term one and not jumping in with daddies new friend. He has limited time with his child. And wants to spend it with his child. He has all the rest of the time to see you.

Thymeout Sat 22-Sep-18 10:16:37

Look at it positively. When he's with you, you can focus on each other and grow the relationship. If it turns out well, you'll look back at this time with nostalgia, because it'll never be the same between you once there's a step-child in the mix and you'll need a rock-hard foundation to make things work.

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