The hardest years?

[Tango500]

I met my DSD when she'd not long turned two. It was a real learning curve for me not having my own kids ( although I do want my own) the mums in work have told me recently that I've done the worst years (toddler) but actually now that DSD is nearly 5 I'm finding her much harder to deal with! The attitude, stubbornness, argumentative. Is it just me?? I hope I'm not the only one! 😭

[SandyY2K]

Toddler years have their issues, ad does puberty and teenage years. Each phase of childhood and adolescence has its own challenges.

Children can be challenging at any age, whether it's your own child or a step child.

In addition, children are individuals with their own personalities. No one child is the same.

Parenting, experiences and environment make us who we are.

[Seniorschoolmum]

I found with my 5yo ds, three things made all the difference. Whatever the issue, if you can get them laughing, you are half way to persuading them round to your way of thinking, so funny faces funny dances, tickling etc.
What leverage works for her - taking away her Nintendo until she eats her food or gets dressed etc
Don’t give in, don’t blink first.

[Tango500]

Thank you Seniorschoolmum I shall bear that in mind. It's just so hard to bite my tongue and not take offence sometimes! 😢

[AnneLovesGilbert]

I’ve found it’s got easier with each year. I was lucky they were little when we got together and they’ve now known me longer than they hadn’t, if that makes sense.

I read a load of books about step parenting stuff at the start seeking wisdom from people who’d done it and survived before me and a lot of research says blending with teens is the hardest so I was optimistic and it’s going well.

Surely the earlier you’re in their lives the easier it is for them to get used to you and vice versa. Mine sort of remember a time without me but not really and making our own traditions, memories of birthdays, Christmas, days out, disasters, house moves, holidays, pets etc have built a life they accept without question and a foundation to fall back on when the difficult days come along.