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Step-parenting

My son & DP

43 replies

user1487636583 · 09/09/2018 16:43

I am writing this in here as it’s about my partner and my son. I have 2 older children to an ex partner, 3 to my current partner. Over time it had becoming increasingly obvious that my partner does not like one of my older children, my son who is 15. They barely talk, only if my son says how are you? Other than that nothing, unless my dp decides to ‘take the mick’ out of my son. A few years ago my son was going down the stairs and my dp started coming up, and I actually heard my DP call my son a prick. He’ll have been about 9 at the time.
He says I spoil him, I don’t. He says he’s my favourite. He is not. I love him. He’s my son. We have a good relationship and joke around a lot.
I love my partner but feel torn. On one side I have my partner who I have three children with, on the other I have my two older children who to be honest don’t think much of their step dad but they are what I’d call normal teenagers. They a bit lazy at times, but when my partner is at work they’ll often help me doing the bedtime routine with the little ones. After a huge row yesterday between my partner and I he started spouting stuffss per usual, and later my 4ur old said to me that he loves his family but he doesn’t love his brother cause dad doesn’t like him. It hurt. I tried to raise it with partner and I said that I know he doesn’t like my son as it is very obvious, he just didn’t say a word and carried on playing with his phone.
Another thing is that we were talking about moving in around 4yrs time. I own my home and it would be only me buying the next one for a a couple of reasons. DP said about how many rooms we would need, and I said an extra one. He asked why. I said because where is my son going to sleep, he was like ‘he’s still gonna be with us in 4yrs?’ With a shirty voice. My son has only just turned 15, he’s only just gone in to his last year of school. I said that I would have thought so as he’s not planning on going to university and I doubt he’d have enough money just after finishing college to move out! He just grumbled oh.
When I was younger my mum chose a man and a city move over me. I feel like am choosing a man over my son.
He really isn’t any bother. He is at school all day, goes to his band practice most evenings and is out most days on a weekend. Even the Mum of the main people in the band say what a lovely young man he is, very polite and helpful. In fact, several of his school friends parents have said the exact same thing to him!
The only issue I really have with him is the fact he is always getting up late so I have to shout at him to make sure he’s up for school.
My dp does have 2 children to an ex. He sees them fortnightly. In his eyes they are obviously perfect as they come, sit on their phones and then leave. There is no real parenting involved. He doesn’t have to deal with the fact his son is always late for school, the fact his daughter argues a lot with her Mum, and obviously thinks that they are the perfect offerings to the world. I could have several opinions about his kids, but I certainly don’t think I have a right to voice any of it. Even when it’s stuff directly related to my kids - like my 5yr old saying her sister doesn’t love her any more because she didn’t come for several months, or the fact that she is always posting all over every social media about her ‘preferred sibling’ (her words not mine) about her baby brother... and yet it’s still my son who literally comes in and goes to his room who gets the abuse.
What I basically want is someone to tell me I’m not stupid to tell my Dp to do one and leave despite a 7yr relationship and 3 children :(

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QOD · 09/09/2018 16:47

Your poor son. And well spotted. Ditch the dick 💐