Eating well

[SwingsAndRoundaboutz]

Hi everyone,

I’ll do a bit of info first before I get to the nitty gritty! I have been with my current partner for around 2 1/2years, we both have children from previous relationships. I have a 10yr old who lives with me and my partner, and he has a 6yr and 2yr old sons (his partner was pregnant when we got together) who live with their mom/his ex partner. I/we have my son full time after some turbulence he experienced with his dad, his own choice completely which his dad has learned to accept.
We have my partners children every other weekend for two nights, and a night in the week for tea when we have them that same weekend and two nights on the weeks that they aren’t with us on the weekend as a rule. Although that is very very flexible on their moms part (we’ve recently had his boys for 5 nights, then again for 2 nights with a days ‘break’ in the middle but that’s another story!)

Now here we go...
Generally I’ll cook one meal for us all, including the boys when they are here. I cannot bare cooking twice unnecessarily and I like it when we all eat together as a family. My 10yr old and his 2yr old are brilliant eaters, don’t get me wrong they do have their fill of rubbish (what child doesn’t?!) when allowed but I don’t mind as they always eat their fruit and veg and eat relatively healthy.
6yr old on the other hand is the opposite I was always told that he’s a picker and will graze throughout the day rather than eat big meals, which is fine obviously each to their own and that. But it wasn’t until I became established with the children that I noticed his eating habits are terrible!! He defo favours ‘kiddy food’ over proper cooking and would live on chicken nuggets etc if he was allowed im sure. He will have/ask for peas with one of his fave meals, sausage & mash/chips, but will have a spoonful or two then be done. And unfortunately peas are the only veg he seems to tolerate. Sweet corn, carrots etc don’t even get a look in, not even baked beans do! I can’t even sneak veg in to pasta sauces etc as he won’t eat ‘proper’ food

He does have fruit, but again it is very limited, strawberries orange and apple are his limit. And obviously he can’t really get by on those

I have thought about giving him a multivitamin to make sure he’s getting what he needs but as it wouldn’t be continued at home he wouldn’t get the full benefit

He will quite happily graze on rubbish throughout the day, which I limit when he’s here, which does show in his eating. But he still can’t finish a meal, there’s always something that he can’t eat because he’s apparently too full. His 2year old brother will out eat him in speed and quantity!!

I don’t have anything to do with their mom, but that’s another story yet again! And as dad works weekends too its usually down to me to feed the children. Where do I go from here?! I’m not and can’t force him to eat properly, especially if it’s not going to be continued at home. We really do try our best with him but it all goes to pot when he returns home. The poor mites teeth are now brown from years of eating all the wrong things it really isn’t far on him and we’re lost for ideas atm!!

Sorry for the long post!

[user1487168313]

I think firstly have a chat with the dad, so at least he is on the same page with you, then it's up to you to implement what you feel comfortable with.

Fruit is probably easier. We tend to make smoothie at home, so you can try different recipes and kids love it.

Accept that you can't control his diet when he's with his mum. Tell him very firmly that this is your house rule. In our case, no/little snacks during the day, have to finish everything in the plate before snacks/dessert/TV/xbox is allowed. I will try to sweeten things up by preparing a small portion of things that they like, give them smaller plates at first, etc.

[NorthernSpirit]

I’m a SM. I cook from scratch and am not a short order cook, so cook one meal we all sit down to.

When me and my OH moved in I started to notice the kids eating habits. Mum apparently asks them what they want for dinner and everyone eats something different. They only ate oven food and the only vegetable they ate was baked beans (not even a vegetable)! They ate dinner with their hands and the beans with a teaspoon. They were 7 & 10 at the time. They had a tiny repertoire of food choices. DSD would only eat burger and chips when out (and god help you if a salad leaf or tomato had touched the burger).

I don’t ask the kids what they want (i’m The cook, I decide). But I do cook child friendly dinners that we all like (they are now 10 & 13). They used to pick all day and then wouldn’t eat dinner. I don’t buy snacks so they can’t pick and then they are hungry at dinner time.

My 10 year old DSS loves my dinners and will eat everything. Now eats a wide variety of foods.

13 year old DSD is extremely fussy (my OH tells me her mum is the same). I cook one dinner and it’s her choice if she chooses not to eat it. We make no comment. But there is nothing else on offer apart from a full fruit bowl. Nothing. She’s not allowed to say ‘I don’t like it’ ‘yuk’ etc as it’s rude to the chief.

Believe me, when they are hungry they will try. You and your OH have to be united on this.

[ohreallyohreallyoh]

They only ate oven food and the only vegetable they ate was baked beans (not even a vegetable

For fruit and veg portions, it counts as vegetable, however!

[NorthernSpirit]

@ohreallyohreallyoh - i’m A qualified food scientist. Baked beans are technically a pulse. You are right, the government count then toward one of your five a day. But they are also laden with salt and sugar.

[SwingsAndRoundaboutz]

Thank you...dad is on the same page, however he will give in to giving crisps etc as snacks which I can’t abide so it is defo getting him under control lol too 😂

Smoothies are also a no go. However Apple juice is, but obviously that’s no good for his poor teeth. Unfortunately Mom will happily sent him to bed with a glass of pop (vimto/Fanta etc) it really breaks my heart as I do my absolute best for him when he’s here, and I know it will improve in time, but I just feel so sorry for him. It’s only a matter of time before other kids start to point out his teeth the poor thing 😔
As for portions, I/we give him an appropriate size for his appetite, often equal or less than his brother but it still fails!!