How do you cope with Disney parenting if you are strict?

(10 Posts)
malificent7 Tue 03-Jul-18 11:25:28

I am by no means the parenting expert here but I am quite firm with dd as she is willful and has a strong personality. I've also been a single mum for ages and I have no time to mess around as I'm busy.
Do is a love my, kind gentle dad who dotes on his dd. His ex cheated and he was devastated when they split up but luckily he sees his dd a lot.
His dd is much more chilled and passive than mine so dosnt need firm parenting.
Trouble is like many guilt ridden non resident parents, a fair bit of mollycoddling goes on.
Eg.. If dad gets a tiny cut I will kiss it better and say.. Never mind and let it heal in the air. If his dd does the same its loads of hugs etc. This is lovely but dd sees the difference and gets jealous. She then takes it out on his dad.
Do is very kind to my dad and spoils her rotten.
I just feel like my dd is the ' bad' one as she has not been so accepting of dp and I whereas his dd has been. To be fair she loves him now but her behaviour was awfull at first.
We are not meeting with the kids for a few weeks to give them space.

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malificent7 Tue 03-Jul-18 11:26:17

Dp is a lovely... I meant. And I'm not splitting with him due to patenting styles BTW.

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malificent7 Tue 03-Jul-18 11:26:42

On his dd even.

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BlueBug45 Tue 10-Jul-18 08:48:02

Don't understand your post. Do you and your partner respond differently to when your children are injured? However you are always there on hand when your own daughter is injured to deal with it, while he happens to be always there when his daughter is injured to deal with it and because you both respond differently your daughter kicks off? If so it is a case of pointing out you are different people so act differently adding in the favourite about life being unfair. It isn't like you both would act the same as her teachers in the same situation.

Now if you are giving the children different things in front of each other for no good reason then they have a right to kick off.

Hillstreamloach Tue 10-Jul-18 08:59:11

Maybe you both need to be a little more balanced in your parenting. You slightly less strict and busy and he a little less soft and indulgent. There's room for different parenting based on your personality but you need to agree on basic principles and treat your two dc the same way. You should talk it over and agree on some strategies that work for both of you.

gingina Tue 10-Jul-18 11:54:28

You get this in non step families too.
One parent can be more sympathetic than the other or more strict than the other.
The problem arises if your DP treats your child differently to his own in this situation eg. ignoring your dd while making a huge fuss of his own

malificent7 Tue 10-Jul-18 19:39:48

He's actually very good with my dd and very gentle. I dont tell his dd off as she is on in yet face naughty like mine is. She's irritating at times but that's just a personality thing.

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SandyY2K Wed 11-Jul-18 04:34:40

Different parents have different styles..... and trying to do anything like imposing your way won't help.

Your DD needs to understand he's not her dad and as such the reality is he has a different way with his DD. The sooner she realises that...the better.

lunar1 Wed 11-Jul-18 06:50:22

Apart from the way you deal with them when injured it sounds like it's the girls that need different parenting due to behaviour. It's not like his dd is getting away with loads while you are strict with your own.

nextflightoutplease Wed 11-Jul-18 18:54:12

I’m not sure what the issue is, other than your daughters jealousy. I don’t think he’s a Disney dad. His daughter is just easier to handle than yours, by the sound of it.You’ve said his dd doesn’t need firm parenting. So I don’t understand what you want to happen? Him to be firm with his own daughter who doesn’t need it? Or be more firm with yours, which will cause a divide? Or you to ease up on yours?

Sorry if I’m missing the obvious.

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