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What's been the best part of your weekend with your SC?

(27 Posts)
OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 09:52:42

I have two, SD and SS. Currently 33 weeks pregnant myself. Love the bones off of both of them.

Yesterday I was feeling quite run down so unable to go for a family day out to my future MIL. I was feeling rather sorry for myself. Only to have my SS come home with a little flower he had picked for me at the beach all on his own. We then done our little "big belly Touch!" Where we stick our tummies out and bump stomachs (lightly!) together.

This isn't the first time he's gotten me a little flower to bring back
when I've not been around.

We all have a lovely bond in general, but honestly it's those little things that make me realise just how much they mean to me and feel so warm.

Things may not always be easy due to my DPs ex, but Christ those kids make everything worth it.

So what have been your "I love these kids!" Moments this weekend?

bea179 Sun 10-Jun-18 09:59:08

Lovely post OP.
Nothing in particular this weekend, but my DSD5 constantly hugs me and tells me she loves me. She also often brings me flowers she's picked if I pick her up from her DM's.

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 10:04:05

It really is the little things isn't it?!

MaMisled Sun 10-Jun-18 10:05:03

I adore my 4 DSC although they're all grown up now. Yesterday, they, my own DC and DH and I went on an 8km hike and picnic. We often do this and have loads of fun.

Yesterday the eldest, at 25, said "thankyou for loving Dad and us like you do".

Made my day!

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 10:06:44

Misled- that must have been so lovely to hear.

Honestly for all the horror stories we hear, and no doubt live to some extent due to ExW little moments like that are really precious.

Chucklecheeks1 Sun 10-Jun-18 15:20:08

OP great thread and as a mum whose kids have a SM its lovely to read. My kids have this sort of relationship with their SM and it makes me happy. Knowing they have a mother figure when I'm not there is comforting.

But wow, four messages in and what started as a lovely heart warming thread has already been reduced to EW bashing.

No need

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 15:45:45

Sorry, was more a way of me saying that although things may be hard at times it's the little things that make it worth it.

Agreed it wasn't need as i did start this thread purely out of love!

Welshchloe Sun 10-Jun-18 16:15:39

I have to say my two DSD have been amazing all weekend there dad had come down with really bad tonsillitis and almost went into hospital yesterday so he has been on the sofa most of the weekend (and probably next week) and they have been little stars for me and caused no problem and let me put them to bed (2nd time in 3 years)

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 16:20:04

Welsh- sounds like your poor DP being ill was almost a bonding moment for you and your SC. I'm sure it meant a lot to him also to see that.

CurryAndWineMakesAPerfectNight Sun 10-Jun-18 17:43:47

You are right, it really is the little things. DSD(6) has been a little star all weekend. I took her shopping yesterday and we had great fun picking out new shorts for her. Then this afternoon she helped me put the washing out and she told me "doing the washing is fun" and she kept telling me how much she loved putting the washing out. It probably sounds daft but it really made me smile smile

mzsink Sun 10-Jun-18 17:47:16

This is really sweet. smile

Spanglyprincess1 Sun 10-Jun-18 18:01:25

Stelath hugs from the oldest, the younger two always want a cuddle but he's too cool for that. Occasionally he will walk past and hug me or says 'love you' out of the blue and usually before I can react to it. Literally made me cry (pregnant and hormonal too)

NeverTwerkNaked Sun 10-Jun-18 18:06:16

DSD gave me huuuuuge unprompted cuddles several times today. She’s very much a pre-teen now and has big ups and downs but she was being so lovely.

NeverTwerkNaked Sun 10-Jun-18 18:08:17

Oh and I get on fine with her mum, no ex bashing from me. I’m not there to replace her mum or compete with her, just to be a motherly figure when she is at ours.

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 18:38:11

Lovely stories guys! All your SC sound so lovely and sweet.

Agreed twerk- never out to replace and make sure to be nothing but positive about their mum around them. It's their mummy! They deserve to feel loved and wanted in both homes.

When the youngest first called me mum a few times myself and my partner made sure to sit him down and explain that he's very lucky to only have one mummy, but has someone else in me that would love and care for him. But never replace.

It's amazing what joys being a SP can bring. I thank my partner all the time for bringing them into my life. I honestly would be lost without them and feel blessed my little baby will have such amazing siblings.

They've made me feel welcome in their family since the day we met. And I'll forever be greatful for that. Even if SD claims my dog whenever she is here 😂 they're best buds! He sulks when she leaves. It's adorable.

ElChan03 Sun 10-Jun-18 18:39:20

I got a cup of tea yesterday. Completely out of the blue from dsd and the we played cards together for at least a couple of hours.
It's nice to have moments like that.
She's been really upset this weekend as her mum told her that the baby is a girl and keeps sending dsd messages and pictures about the upcoming baby etc.
I gave her a massive cuddle on Friday and told her no matter what she was my number one girl and me and her dad do everything we can to make her happy.
I think the cup of tea was a thank you for being there gesture. So even more meaningful that she feels that way.

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 18:43:45

Oh el - how hard for your SD.

We've always been careful that they know with our pregnancy she will be an addition tk the family, not a replacement.

It must be such a trying time to be a stepchild and have a "new" child be thrown into the mix. Understandable it would bring a lot of emotions and worries out for them.

I understand the need to make sure they are included in jt, but for that to be all you talk about is bound to make her feel rejected and pushed out.

She sounds very fortunate to have you in her life to remind her she's just as special still.

ElChan03 Sun 10-Jun-18 19:19:25

I agree overwhelmed! However since her mum has barely any contact with dsd as it is I think it makes the new baby all the more like a replacement.
I told dsd that it's 100% her choice how involved she wants to be with the baby. It's due 2 days before her birthday.
I said if she wants to have a relationship that's great but at the same time if she just wants to see her mum on her own that's totally ok too. I also said it was ok if she changes her mind too. So if she decides she wants to know the baby and then decides later she doesn't that's more than ok.
I don't really know how to help though. It's not a conversation my dp or myself could have with ew to help her understand dsd feelings.
So cuddles and support is where I'm at. I think this weekend at least it was the right thing.

OverwhelmedAndConfused200 Sun 10-Jun-18 19:23:51

Cuddles and support is all you can do right now for her. Until the situation plays out anyway.

Again she is a very lucky little girl to have you and your dp. She sounds like she's very loved smile

RunningBean Mon 11-Jun-18 12:00:50

@elchan03, has her mum said only seeing her without the baby there is an option?

Im assuming its contact center contact where she sees her but even then it may be better to not give your DSD the idea that its a possibility as I would think its unlikely many mums would be leaving their newborns or young babies.
Or if it is normal contact then having the baby removed from the house for each contact probably wouldn't be possible or realistic in most situations.

With my DD putting a lot of focus on it being her baby sister and what she would be able to do (eg. Cuddling, playing, helping feed initially) helped a lot as it took the focus off it being 'our' new baby and onto it being 'her' baby sister.

ElChan03 Mon 11-Jun-18 12:42:33

No her mum hasn't said anything regarding contact. I think she assumes she will bring the baby with her to the contact held at our house or at the local costa.
Mum refused the contact centre point blank for 9 months until I set up an arrangement at our own house. She bails out due to travel costs sometimes so atm it's only once a month. I do try for more.

I personally think dsd should be able to choose whether she wants to meet the baby. I don't feel comfortable looking after it if dsd only wants one to one with her mum.
I think as it has two parents the baby should be left with it's father if that's what dsd prefers.

It's all down to dsd. I don't think any of us have the right to force her to do anything in this situation.
I'm 99% sure that it would be wholly inappropriate for dss to meet said baby. He would not understand at all.

RunningBean Tue 12-Jun-18 09:09:19

Her mum sounds horrific, your poor DSD to not see her for 9 months out of presumably stubbornness about the contact center sad.

I would try to encourage her to see the baby as her sibling rather than something to be avoided though, in the hope that they could build a bond as they get older and have at least one positive relationship from that side of her family.

It will likely just sleep at first anyway, the longer she avoids seeing it the more shes likely to build up resentment rather than seeing the positives and having a chance to establish her own bond with her.
Long term shes probably got more chance of a positive relationship with her sibling than with her mum from the sound of it.

ElChan03 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:12:47

Thanks for your advice RunningBean. I will try and go down that route with her.
She's pretty angry about it atm. She threatened to hit a boy in school yesterday. So I'm trying to tackle the anger issues too atm.

ClaryFray Wed 13-Jun-18 20:25:35

The youngest step son always beams when he sees me, ear to ear. Lovely.

NewLevelsOfTiredness Sun 24-Jun-18 11:46:36

I had one yesterday evening that I'm sure you'll all agree was a big one.

SD8 comes up to me just before bedtime and tells me she loves me. Great. Then she leans in close and whispers "even more than my hamster, but don't tell him." She was looking carefully at his cage at the time to make sure he didn't hear.

I'm ashamed to say that after she'd gone upstairs I walked over to the cage and said "1-0 to stepdad" to the hamster. Unbeknownst to me my girlfriend was watching blush

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