Helping daughter to cope with my new partner.

(4 Posts)
Vickyjo1986 Thu 10-May-18 12:33:34

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has experienced similar issues, and if so how you overcame them. I separated from my daughters father nearly 2 years ago. On the whole my daughter coped very well with the separation. I have had a new partner for a year now and have slowly been introducing him to my daughter. I have known this man for nearly 10 years as a colleague and can honestly say he is one of life’s good guys.They get along fine and my daughter is aware that eventually we will all move in together, here is where some issues come in to play. My daughter becomes very clingy whenever my new partner is present and will not leave us alone for a second. My new partner has been very patient but feels that things should have become to get a little easier by now. I ensure that my daughter and I get quality time alone together and reassure her that I still love her more than anything but she will try anything in her power to try and stop me being close to my new partner, despite admitting that she likes him a lot. Does anybody have any words of wisdom? Thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
AjasLipstick Thu 10-May-18 13:41:45

How old is she?

A year isn't that long if you've only been introducing him slowly OP.

Your partner can feel things should be easier all he wants....but the fact is, they're not because to a child, he's just a strange man.

T2705 Thu 10-May-18 14:28:40

I think all you can do really is just carry on doing what you're doing, let her feel as involved as possible and not make her feel as though she has to compete for your attention.

One of my dsds is very similar, whilst it can be slightly irritating we just go with it, I tend to take a bit of a step back when it happens - for whatever reason she feels the need for her dad's attention so I let her have it. To start with it was constant - she wouldn't leave whichever room we were in, if she was busy doing something with the other kids and we left the room she would stop what she was doing and follow us within a minute or two, but it's slowly getting better so I'm sure it will be the same for you! How old is you dd btw? Xx

Aroundtheworldandback Thu 10-May-18 16:21:02

I had exactly the same with my daughter who was 9 at the time. She has since told me she remembers being afraid of losing me like she ‘lost’ her dad when we got divorced.

What helped was us including her in everything, for example when my partner walked in, he would hug us both instead of just me.

Over time my now dh built a separate relationship with her, independent of me. Be patient, you don’t say how old she is but you’re expecting a lot from her.

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