What's the deal about divorcing when there are DSCs involved?

[Pinkdragon1]

I'm asking in this board rather than one specifically about divorce as people here may have more knowledge about divorcing when there are DSCs involved. DH and I have decided to split after 8 years. My DC is at Uni but lives with us in holidays, DH's DCs live with us full-time. Following our divorce will there be any requirement for me to contribute to the DSCs in terms of child maintenance? Their Mum pays nothing, and never has done, in terms of child maintenance so it would seem very unfair to make me do so, but as they have been with us F/T for so long will a court take a view I have a responsibility? Thanks

[Aprilmightbemynewname]

You have no responsibility at all for your dsc. You neve had PR for them (unless a judge granted you it).

[Flowerpotbicycle]

No you’re not their parent. Even when married you have no financial obligation to SC. Although would you like to help to contribute and continue seeing them seeing as you’ve been their mother for 8 years?
Legally you don’t have to but it would be sad for them to lose you because you and their father are splitting up

[Flowerpotbicycle]

Just looked it up... even if you have PR you do not pay maintenance unless you are a biological parent

[OreoMini]

No child maintenance

[Candlelights]

You don't have to pay anything (unless you adopted them). And you also don't get any rights to see them.

Though if things are amicable or the DSC are old enough to keep up a relationship independently, there's nothing to stop you and your ex agreeing whatever arrangement you like between you. You could try to bridge a relationship with the DSC by paying for something specific - eg of there's a hobby or something that you've always been supportive of them in. Or take them out for a clothes buying trip, of that's something you've always done. No obligation to pay money to their dad but if you want to stay in their lives, paying for a few things might help.

[NorthernSpirit]

I do know of a case in that a friend of mine married a woman with children. The father contributed no maintenance.

On divorce the DSD was ordered to pay maintenance as he had been in the children’s life for so long.

The CSA don’t have powers but the courts do. You should read this:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice/Children/115851-Child-maintenance-for-step-children.html

It’s unfair if the mother doesn’t pay but you potentially could have to.

You should take some legal advice.

[LunaTrap]

Actually an adult who has lived with a child for a certain length of time (I think 3 years?) can apply for contact. So you may have rights to see them if you wish. I have also heard of a case like that of Northern as the child was viewed as a child of the family after a very long marriage. I second getting legal advice.

[resignedtoresigning]

Like Northern I know someone who ended up paying maintenance for his DSCs when he split with their mum. Their dad was around and present in their lives but had MH issues and had never held down a job or paid maintenance.

My friend was a high earner relative to his wife and the courts took the view that as he had supported the children financially for many years and their own father was unable to do so then they were classed as 'children of the family' and considered as such when it came to looking at the financial side of the divorce.