I had a miscarriage two weeks ago - I'm fine within myself, off work and recovering quietly. We were supposed to go and visit my husband's family this weekend with my little girl and two step-children from his former marriage. The step children are teenagers, sulky and sarcastic, constantly coming up with nasty little names about me - Mary Poppins. Everything I do with my three year old daughter from paintings to crafts gets a sneering response. It bothers me a lot, I ignore it, but at the moment I think I'll snap badly at the least remark, whether they deserve it or not.
Upshot: for everyone's sake (particularly my own) I've kept my daughter at home with me for the weekend, and they've gone to see his family.
He is not happy I didn't want to go. He suggested taking my daughter and leaving me at home. This wasn't reasonable, I know, but I went into crazy hysterics and said that he's not taking my child away from me. He said I'm insane and told me not to contact him for the weekend, and I won't. I have no problem with them going, it's a relief. I'm dreading Sunday when they all come back though and I think I'll have to clear off for the day until they go back to their mums at 6pm, then face the music with him.
I should say it's not awful all the time, of course, we've had a few months of it being very good and being very close. His support to me has been solid and dedicated for the past two weeks. The minute the step children are in the mix though, he gets stressed and then things turn nasty fast (verbally).
I know I should leave, shouldn't I? I certainly shouldn't have been contemplating another child. Financially it would be very very hard - he's 13 years older than me and owns the house (bought before I met him), I work part-time and the job situation isn't great in this part of Scotland. Jobs with my qualifications, which are niche, are in London, and I doubt he'd let me go even if I could afford the move. I also don't want to break my daughter's family up if it's in my power to stand things like this. I don't know what I'm asking really - I moved to Scotland after living abroad for ten years when I met my husband and I have no-one I can talk to here apart from one good colleague at work. I guess I'm asking how do you endure it, how do you manage things so it's not like this?
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Step-parenting
Miscarriage and step family
MonkeyPuzzle2017 · 14/04/2018 08:48
Have you posted about him before? It sound familiar.
I'm sorry about your miscarriage. 
I don't know if he sounds that awful. I can see why he was annoyed you wouldn't let him take your three year old with him to see his family although he should have been more thoughtful considering your recent miscarriage.
You can't stay with him because of housing etc. that's a terrible reason and will just lead to unhappiness for everyone. Can you re-train or look for different t work.
How old are the step kids? Will they be leaving to go to Uni etc soon.
I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage
Looking after yourself is the most important thing right now. I agree with PP that now is probably not the right time to be making any life changing decisions, but I don't blame you for feeling like you need a bit of space to process everything just now.
It sounds like your husband needs to do more to ensure his children respect you when they are around. They don't have to like you, but they do have to be civil and show respect to you and anything less is not okay. He's failing them as a parent, and you as a partner IMO if he's allowing them to be like that towards you.
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