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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Step-parenting

DSD chocolate coveting!

97 replies

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:04

Every day I treat myself to a small bag of my favourite chocolates. Occasionally when DH does to the store he'll pick me up a bag. DSD has started to ask for the very same kind of chocolates whereas she was never into them before. Why do I feel so irritated by this? It means I have to hide my chocolate stash in my bedroom instead of in the kitchen cupboard like I used to, But why do I feel so irrationally pissed off?

I have not said anything to DSD or DH, nor do I intend to. I simply want to understand why I feel so territorial over a brand of sodding chocolate. I feel like a crazy woman.

OP posts:

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Magda72 · 09/04/2018 14:17

Lol - not a step issue! I often feel the same re kids (steps & my own) - I think it's a "cannot not just have one thing for myself?" thing.
It's parenthood - all space invaded by little (& not so little) people who don't think we are entitled to any life of our own even if it's just chocolate!!!
💐

Dancingleopard · 09/04/2018 14:18

Just buy two bags

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:19

Why did she decide to like this particular chocolate only after it became apparent I like it? It's all she asks for now. I wonder if she asks for it when I'm not around.

Grrrrrr. Maybe I have PMS.

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HeadfirstForHalos · 09/04/2018 14:21

I'd take it as a compliment , If she's copying you she must like you

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 09/04/2018 14:23

She asks for it because you are a grown up and she probably likes you. Having it probably makes her feel a bit grown up and she is doing it to flatter you and be like you. She is definitely doing it for the opposite of annoying you she may even be doing it to make you like her better a kind of see we like the same things.

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:24

I spoke to a trusted friend about this and she reckons that maybe DSD is upset because DH buys them for me. It’s something he’s doing just for me. She doesn’t like that. So she wants it to be her thing as well.

I'm tempted to test that theory by asking him to fetch something else for a while.

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DCITennison · 09/04/2018 14:26

But it’s not dsd who is upset, is it? It’s you.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 14:28

Utterly ridiculous. Grow up.

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:29

DCITennison she got upset when someone (i.e. me) ate her chocolates. tbh I had no idea they were hers as I kept my stash in the family cupboard. I now know better and keep my stash in my bedroom. And I guess I'm resentful that I have to do this. Totally irrational, I know.

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SoupDragon · 09/04/2018 14:30

I’m going with your suggestions of “crazy woman” and ”PMT”

She’s not asking to share your bag after all. That would be punishable by death.

OfficerVanHalen · 09/04/2018 14:30

You are desperate for this to be some evidence of some sort of character flaw in this child. You need to have a good look at yourself.

chandlersfraud · 09/04/2018 14:32

You have a bag every single day?? Out of interest - are you overweight? (Just because if you're not I will be very envious!!)

But on the actual topic - I think you know YABU, as for why, I would guess if reflects some other subconscious or conscious feelings about having to share things important to you/having her encroach on your life?

stitchglitched · 09/04/2018 14:33

Ah the latest thread scapegoating your DSD for the fact that your DP is an utter prick. Scraping the barrel with this one though. It's chocolate.

KalaLaka · 09/04/2018 14:33

She doesn’t like that. So she wants it to be her thing as well.
That's understandable if it's true. You're competition for her dad's time and attention. We have much bigger reactions in the pursuit of attention here... this isn't a malicious act.

KalaLaka · 09/04/2018 14:36

DCITennison she got upset when someone (i.e. me) ate her chocolates
Most children would have this reaction. Your expectations of dsd seem a bit off: how old is she?

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:36

I shall switch to a different brand and see what happens.

Out of interest - are you overweight?

No, I fast 18:6 and this is my treat. I'm size 10 and gave birth in August. Not saying it's been easy slimming down, but if I didn't treat myself with chocolate I'm such I'd end up binging.

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PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:37

I'm *sure

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ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 14:37

I would get upset if someone mistakenly arent my chocolates. I assume you replaced the ones you are with some from your own bag?

Raven88 · 09/04/2018 14:39

Out of interest what are these chocolates?

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:39

To clarify it was definitely my bag of chocolates. DH now buys 2 bags and gives one to me. She ate hers straight away and then was upset when a day later, I ate mine.

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ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 14:39

So you’re going to set a trap to get evidence that your step daughter is deliberately trying to upset you by copying your taste in sweets? Seriously? You need to speak to a counsellor. These feelings you are having aren’t normal.

PretABoire · 09/04/2018 14:40

You have your own bag EVERY DAY but you resent your DSD having any?? Really?? She isn't even eating yours!

My SM and I have the same favourite flavour of quality street. She removes that colour from the tin and hides them so I can't have any when I'm visiting. I found them by accident once - she says "isn't it so weird we keep buying tins which don't have this colour in"........ Don't be that dick!

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PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:41

Anyhoo, I'll switch to a different brand and see what happens. She can keep her love for my hereto favorite brand. If you guys are right and she genuinely likes this brand then she won't switch to my new ones, will she?

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ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 14:41

she got upset when someone (i.e. me) ate her chocolates. tbh I had no idea they were hers as I kept my stash in the family cupboard. I now know better and keep my stash in my bedroom.

And ow you’re saying they weren’t hers, they were yours? Keep your story straight.

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:42

PretABoire did you start liking that flavour only once you found out SM liked it? I'm guessing not.

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