This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
To think she is taking the piss.(11 Posts)
DSS needed dental work done recently, not covered by NHS. His mum booked appointment, didn't consult DH and sent him the invoice after - to the tune of $2k. DH was raging, paid the invoice as he felt he had no choice as ex was threatened to stop access if he didn't cough up. Now we discover the DSS has been bought a very expensive console as a 'treat' DH is livid .... she is taking the piss isn't she ?
They need to discusd how things are going to work in the future. What if he didn't have the money?
Does he not have formal visitation...So she can't threaten to stop access? If not he needs to consider that ..Or she'll do it again.
Keep spending and expecting him to pay. Did she buy the console?
He needs to stand up to her.
Kids aren’t pay per view - maintenance / money and access are too completely separate issues.
Does your OH pay maintenance?
You can’t spend someone’s money without consulting them or unless you have their agreement (it’s called manners and common courtesy). The mum should of consulted before hand. Did mum contribute anything?
As far as stopping access if dad doesn’t pay. I would get a formal contact order (this is disgusting behaviour by the mum and the courts do not like this at all). Go to court and stop her ability to threaten. My OH’s EW used to do the same thing - she doesn’t now after a stern talking to by a judge and a judge threatening to remove the children from her.
Full maintenance, plus private education, plus everything else on top. Not gone through the courts because he wants to keep it amicable ! But she treats him like a walking ATM !
Of course she is. Any additional costs to maintenance should be jointly discussed. Maybe she feared that if she did that, your OH would refuse though. When treatment is of a cosmetic nature, parents don't always agree.
Saying that, was the bill handed over to your DP the full amount of half? Because if it was the full amount, that's outrageous.
Full amount ..... as she can't afford it ! !
Well the issue is that he paid it. He has no financial boundaries with that women. Probably lacking in other areas too..I would think very very carefully if I want to be with a men who has no balls to stand up to his exes unreasonable demands...Unless he is loaded and 1000s spend without care are really not an issue :/
Then your OH is paying more than enough. My OH at one point was paying the EW’s mortgage in full, £500 maintenance for her, over the stated amount from the CMS. On top he would pay extras for clothes, activities etc.
She wanted a lump sum of money and with held contact for 6 weeks as he refused to pay. My OH actually couldn’t afford it. I should mention she was living in a 3 bed, 3 bath house in a gated development, he was living in a 1 bed flat.
The contact went to court and she now has no ability to dictate, threaten or stop contact. I would recommend this route. It takes her power away. These women don’t change. They think their EH’s are mesl tickets for life.
Oh and their finances went to court. The finances were decided by a judge. She got to stay in the house for another 3 years only. She has to pay her own mortgage as she lives there. She didn’t get any spousal maintenance and my OH pays only £100 above the CMS amount.
When you get greedy it comes back to bite you.
She can't afford to pay towards his dental work but can afford an expensive console? Yes she is taking the piss. Even if she couldn't afford to pay a full half, the 300-400 she probably spent on the console could have gone on his dental work instead.
Get contact arrangements formalised in court, find out how much he is obliged to pay, and then rearrange payment accordingly. I just can't understand why parents use their children as weapons, it's appalling!
You posted about this before didn't you?