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Step-parenting

Easter egg hunt...

19 replies

sothisisnew · 29/03/2018 12:09

I'm not really after advice on this one, just wanted to share.

My OH has his DC EOW, including this coming weekend. His ex had asked if he would take them back on Sunday morning rather than the usual 6pm drop-off, so they can still 'do' Easter with her family, have a roast, do an egg hunt, etc. He agreed, so that's what's happening- we will do some Eastery things in the morning. So far so fair enough.

However, through an irrelevant turn of events involving a forgotten school bag this morning, he found out that she has taken the day off from work today to organise an egg hunt for them after school/nursery. I'm assuming this is so she can be the one to do the egg hunt first.

Now this obviously isn't a big deal, it's all good for the lucky children! I just think it's a bit mad... She's obviously aware that it's a bit shady as she went to some lengths to hide it from DP. She also went full on mental last Christmas when he dropped the children off on Christmas Eve, shouting at him in front of them and accusing him of 'telling the children it was already Christmas Day'. He did not do that.

Any other thoughts on this one? Like I say, he's not going to do anything about it, I'm just interested.

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backinthatdress · 29/03/2018 14:03

i dont see a problem here... so she wants to do a easter hunt before they go to yours... and one after... so what ?

i dont see anything 'shady'. just lucky kids

lunar1 · 29/03/2018 14:52

Fucking hell, you know the world has gone mad when a mum is described as being shady for organising an egg hunt for her children.

sothisisnew · 29/03/2018 14:53

Ha, fair enough!

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Candlelights · 29/03/2018 22:57

Ours have two "Christmases" every year! And quite often they've had one before they come to ours for the actual event.

I wouldn't stress about it. They'll not be complaining about two Easter egg hunts :) it's only a problem if both parents start getting precious about important days. As long as one or other parent chills out about dates, everyone can be happy.

Wdigin2this · 29/03/2018 23:56

I know where you're coming from in this, why wasn't she just up front about it! However, in the great scheme of things, it doesn't really matter....does it?!

Maybe83 · 30/03/2018 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sothisisnew · 30/03/2018 07:09

Thanks all.
Wdigin2this exactly- she straight up lied about it happening, which was weird- if you’re really keen to do it first, at least own it!

Candlelights- you’re right, as long as DP stays relaxed about it it doesn’t matter. I expect that when he has he children for the first time this year they will have already had a visit from Father Christmas, but as long as it means more presents I don’t think they’ll be too fussed somehow!

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sothisisnew · 30/03/2018 07:10

*when he has them for the first time at Christmas

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swingofthings · 30/03/2018 07:42

The usual 'I want my kids to experience the joy oh whatever celebration with me first because they'll be more excited then and bored second time'. It's not worth the battle. Your OH should feel good about himself that he agreed to his DD spending Sunday with his ex and her family event.

She hid it clearly because she thought if he knew, he wouldn't agree to bring her back earlier on Sunday.

She will get as excited doing the hunt Sunday morning with him and you. They don't get bored of it, and what makes it special to them is doing it with the people they love.

newcupcake · 30/03/2018 07:56

Oh that old chestnut ' egg hunt top trumps'

takeittakeit · 30/03/2018 08:04

Bloody hell - what she does in her time or asks for a variation is entirely up to her.

The paranoia on this forum is just unbelievable.

the first time my dcs were at Exs for xmas, the weekend before we did special dinner and 2 presents - so bloody what.

Easter - we do an egg before or after if they are with him.

No bloody subterfuge - it is what the DCS want.

I does stick in my craw that I do child care for 355 days of the year and he only wants them on special days - but hey ho, we all suck it up wihtout thinking the world is having a major plan against us.

sothisisnew · 30/03/2018 08:24

newcupcake I know, it’s ridiculous

Swing- thanks for acknowledging that it’s a thing! A trivial thing, sure, but it is a thing!

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swingofthings · 30/03/2018 09:24

We're all guilty of it with little kids. Let's face it, when you have weeks of having to deal with tantrums, demands, mess, repeating the same thing a 100% to the point you start questioning how much you actually 'like' your kids, it's nice to have moments when you see them happy and sometimes even thankful!

I do agree that it is common for nr to feel that they have an entitlement to these special times because they don't get to see their kids as often but to be fair, how would they know that a large proportion of that time is taken by not so much fun moments with our kids, and to be even fairer on them, even though we moan, we wouldn't trade it anyway.

Let's face it, this is one of the benefits of having separated parents, seeing your parents battle over who is going to have the top card at doing things first, when what they get excited about is the fact they get to do it twice!!

sothisisnew · 30/03/2018 09:35

Definitely, the children don’t even realise it’s a competition yet- I imagine that’s when he fun really starts...

There’s no sense of entitlement here- my DP had to go to court to get half of the holidays, including every other Christmas.

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Dancingmonkey87 · 30/03/2018 09:40

It sounds like the only one who is competing here is you guys. What relevance does it have to do with you if she does an egg hunt with her children? I haven’t disclosed my plans to ex tomorrow for Easter although he knows we are having a party for the my younger ds as it’s his birthday which includes an egg hunt but I certainly didn’t list what we were doing! Likewise I’m not sure what his plans are for Sunday.

lunar1 · 30/03/2018 11:34

I clearly had the wrong separated parents, it wasn't a competition for who could do it best. It was a firm belief that the other parent should so neither ever bothered!

stitchglitched · 30/03/2018 11:40

Imagine being the mother of young children (at least one only nursery age) and having your decision to do a fun easter egg hunt with them picked over and called 'shady' by another woman (who you didn't invite into your life) on an internet forum. Urgh.

Chuffingchuff · 30/03/2018 20:32

I get it OP, it's frustrating when it repeatedly happens because the truth is that the first time doing any event is exciting and repeating not so fun. And when that first excitement is always taken away it can feel a little unfair.

sothisisnew · 30/03/2018 23:22

@Chuffingchuff Thank you

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