I DON'T WANT MY STEP DAUGHTER AROUND :-(

Sarajandb · 2018-03-21 10:24:19

I've been with my other half 3 1/2 years and i have 2 boys with my ex 6 & 8 and he has his daughter also nearly 6. We go on holiday every year i throw her bday parties go all out for her bday and xmas etc i buy her all her holiday clothes summer and winter same as i would the boys we go on many family adventures but as time goes on and on i seem to want her there less and less. She lives with us 50/50 and me and my fiance have had a lot of problems the last 12 months nothing to do with the kids. He adores my boys and they do him and his daughter loves me but i say i love her but i dont actually think i do i care about her a lot but i dont look at her and feel the love i do for my kids. I get very frustrated with her shes very dipsy she literally takes 10 mins to get dressed and needs it all laying out for her to be told and checked on - babied if you like where as my son (well both of them) just get up get dressed no issue every morning. When shes not there the bedrooms are tidy at the end of the day where as when shes there its like a bombs dropped and i just look sometimes and think i wish she wasn't here. When i 1st met her she couldn't do ABC's numbers nothing I've taught her all that, swimming to ride her bike everything her mum is useless on that front. My other half is great with the kids but when she is there its like don't leave her out its hers too not just yours even when he doesn't need to make that point. If i do something for the boys hes like well its not fair on her (despite her not been there ) I've got to the point where I've stopped buying her clothes like we go on holiday in 8 weeks and I've bought the boys and not hers because i'm sick of everything falling on me he needs to see what i do and the cost involved and pull his finger out. I'm fed up of trying to 'bring her upto speed' sort to speak and teach her things when the effort is only from me and not her mum and dad but it frustrates me and i feel sorry for her too. I feel like I've given up with her and i feel awful but i cant help how i feel i just don't have the energy anymore i have so much going i just cant handle it all anymore. Shes got a nasty streak too everything of the boys has to be shared 'its hers too' and that's fine but if the boys play with something of hers she doesn't like it and she will threaten them ' if you don't give me it back ill break your xxx' and she play innocent and i can see straight thru it but dad is so lenient. But if the boys did that it would be you've lost this toy that toy etc. The boys can both ride their bikes no stabilisers and we taught them all the same time but she still has hers shes really lazy and wants everything doing for her and shes a massive cryer ! cries at everything. and she lies if you tell her off she will swear blind shes not done it but u know she has or she will blame one of the others and just cry and it really frustrates me as don't get me wrong the boys are terrible for bickering and fighting but will both fess up and take their punishments on the chin. Its like we go on holiday in 8 weeks and part of me doesn't want her there. Its not just me though now my family who have all always treat her the same will say things like got shes wingy or omg how come she can't do x,y, z like my youngest can. I spend a lot of time teaching my kids things but her mum doesn't and i know that not her fault but its not my job to pick up her slack neither my oldest is special needs and i have a lot on my plate my ex has little involvement so it's hard enough bringing my own kids up on my own. I've tried for months to ignore how i feel and i tell him when i'm unhappy about something but its like he just doesn't get it or doesn't care less. Shes messy and lazy and she just doesnt listen she runs everywhere doesn't walk and you can tell her till your blue in the face stop running but she will still do it, shes dipsy though and falls over walks into things because shes daydreaming or running etc. i have said to him i think she should take her to the doctors as she displays signs of dyspraxia but he gets annoyed when i make the suggestion. Its like this morning the boys has got dressed brushed their teeth and eaten their breakfast and she was still getting dressed but she doesn't think shes trying to pull her dress over her head zipped up and i got really frustrated as I've said the same thing to her 1000 times unzip it and explained in very simple terms come on think about it how are your supposed to get it over your head zipped up but she will do the same thing tom and dad just like good girl when she does it and gives me the leave her alone look. Maybe i just needed to vent somewhere and maybe it will just never work i want my family so much but i just feel like after nearly 4 years and if im feeling worse and worse maybe its time to walk away the problems me and him have had have given me far less patience i just don't know what to do anymore for the best.

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Step-parenting

This thread has been deleted

We've had a good few reports about this thread.

By the time we remove all the posts that break Talk Guidelines, there won't be much left - so we're removing it.

Can we just remind everyone that while it's more than fine to disagree (even bluntly ...