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Wife excludes stepkids from baby date... unfair?

(45 Posts)
superdad1234 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:02:00

My wife doesn't want her teenage stepdaughters to come with us and baby to a concert for babies. I only have them every other weekend (Fri-Mon) and half the holidays, and I don't want to exclude any of my kids from activities. But she insists on arranging the baby concert on a weekend when her stepdaughters are here and doesn't want them to come. Is that fair?

PS: she says that weekend is at the end of their 2 weeks holidays. The first week I'm going skiing with the girls, but not the baby nor the wife. But neither the wife nor the baby can ski!

SnowannaRainbow Wed 31-Jan-18 21:04:08

Would the teens even want to go to some godawful kiddy concert? The skiing thing seems a bit double standards tbh.

Derekmorganwasinmybed Wed 31-Jan-18 21:06:02

Why would teens want to go to a concert for babies

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Wed 31-Jan-18 21:06:21

Wife goes to baby concert with baby.
You dodge a bullet and goes elsewhere with teenagers who are grateful that they don't have to go to baby concert

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 31-Jan-18 21:10:21

Not all activities are suitable for all mbers of a family. If your wife is excluding your children because she doesn't like them/doesn't view them as part of her family, then you have bigger problems than a baby concert.
If, otoh, she is thinking that your girls have bern with you for 3 weeks straight and this activity is not suitable for them, then I think she is not doing anything wrong and you are seeing an issue where none exists.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 31-Jan-18 21:10:43

Sorry, 2 weeks straight

NorthernSpirit Wed 31-Jan-18 21:12:13

Not unfair at all.

You’re going skiing with your children.

Wife goes to baby concert with your child. You’re hardly missing out and I can’t image your 2 would want to go? Have a nice night in with your kids.

superdad1234 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:13:15

shouldn't the teens be asked if they want to come? even if they say no, at least they won't feel like they've been excluded

Casmama Wed 31-Jan-18 21:13:20

I think you say to your wife if she wants you to go then the girls do too - it’s that simple. I agree with others that it would probably be very dull to them though.

superdad1234 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:15:19

skiing is with their cousins who live in the Alps

user1493413286 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:19:45

Why doesn’t she want them to come?

negomi90 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:22:30

Option 1) let your wife take the baby,
Option 2) ask your girls if they want to go, they'll probably say no and everyone will be happy, but if they say yes then you'll be in a worse position
Option 3) if the concert is happening on another day, insist on moving the tickets so everyone can be extra happy

But you're right family outings when all kids are present should involve all kids unless a teenager doesn't want to go.

ourkidmolly Wed 31-Jan-18 21:22:48

How ridiculous, why would they want to go? Get a grip. Teenagers at a Teletubbies singalong or something like that, what a waste of money. Surely they'd be embarrassed?
They've just had a week of you 121 skiing. Isn't that sufficient for quality time in any two week period.

WindowsSmindows Wed 31-Jan-18 21:24:43

you are wrong,
wife is right.
Whats is really going on? It seems like a stupid thing to disagree on, especially since you are clearly spoiling for an argument and your wife is clearly right.

superdad1234 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:24:48

it's Bach to baby, classical music, debussy etc...

SueSueDonahue Wed 31-Jan-18 21:25:13

Did you ask your wife if she'd like to come to the skiing place? It doesn't matter if she doesn't ski yet. It's a nice location to be!

Seems like a reverse to me frankly.

SciFiG33k Wed 31-Jan-18 21:30:29

YABVU you are ditching your wife and baby for two weeks to go skiing with your girls and then arguing with her for wanting one night to go to a baby concert that no teenager would dream of wanting to attend.

How does your wife feel about you not including her and your baby in your holidays? Why aren't you including all your children in your holidays? I think the one with the double standards here is you!

Truthstar Wed 31-Jan-18 21:40:04

Yabu
Wise up. This is ridiculous. Only babies should be going to baby classical concert. Stop making a drama and blaming your wife.

superdad1234 Wed 31-Jan-18 21:43:36

ok, I'm wrong and my wife is right (again!), I'll do what she says :-)

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 31-Jan-18 22:34:52

I had 3 dc, then after quite a significant amount of time I had another dc. My dc live with me all the time but we don't do all activities together. There are plenty of things the youngest dc does that are of no interest to the older ones and vice versa. That is okay and doesn't mean anything other than she gap = different interests.

Ember12 Thu 01-Feb-18 00:17:49

I dont think either of you are bu.
Why wont she invite dsd? I doubt they would want to go anyway but its nice to be invited.
Or invite and pay for them yourself if if bothers you that much

WillowWept Thu 01-Feb-18 00:22:08

Are you DDs old enough to stay at home unaccompanied for the duration of the time you would be out at baby concert?

SleepingStandingUp Thu 01-Feb-18 00:25:18

If you don't invite teens to baby Debussy where will they go? Home alone or sent back to their mother early?

Take your wife on holiday with the baby and let her enjoy the scenery

Justoneme Thu 01-Feb-18 06:47:38

I think you are missing the point with what your it wife is asking ....
you sound like abit of a cry baby if you don't get your own way....

swingofthings Thu 01-Feb-18 07:35:44

Superdad, you can't be serious! You are taking your DDs on a fantastic holiday for a week, they will have you just for them, whilst your wife has to take her of your baby on her own to accommodate it, and you moan because she's asking about you dedicating a few hours to spend time with just her and your baby?

I think you are missing the point too and I highly suspect that your wife booked this to test you and make a point, ie. picked an activity that your kids are likely not to be interested in, in the same way that the baby would not benefit from going on the ski trip.

A whole week of fun with your eldest children vs a couple of hours dedicated to your baby and you think your wife is unreasonable? If this thread is real, good luck because I think you're going to need it.

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