My DSS is 20.
He moved in with me, along with DP, 18 months ago. He doesn't work. He has now decided to quit college twice. He quit his A-levels part way through.
Since his GCSEs he has pretty much decided to do nothing. He is clearly a special snowflake. He will play X-Box all night. He will invite random friends over, without permission, and we have found randoms sprawled around the house on occasion. I cannot live with this shit much longer.
I have young kids. I am raising them to work hard, and have self-respect. Unfortunately, DP seems very frustrated by SS's lack of drive and personal responsibility, but he actively does fuck all to address it. He lays down ground rules, which are just disrespected, ignored, and thus the cycle repeats.
DP used to pull his weight on his behalf, but recently DP has been extremely ill. Hospitalised for a long time with life-changing surgery. It has been fucking hard.
SS has done fuck all to help. I have tried to be kind and respectful to his feelings about his Dad. He has responded by continuing the piss taking.
He eats everything in the fridge. I am now spending £250+ a week on food. I cannot afford it, but everything I buy that is easy for DP to eat just vanishes. I bought a £50 shop at the weekend which had gone in 24 hours. When I address it, he states that he 'doesn't know what he is allowed to eat'! I have tried putting notes on the fridge, but he 'doesn't see them'.
He never washes up, and I put my foot down by putting his washing up in his bedroom. He bleated about it to DP, who told him that I had done it. Fine! He eventually did it.
However, today I woke up to another pile of washing up. I left it there, and went to work. DP then hauled himself downstairs, and cleaned up after the 'special snowflake'.
I lost my rag. I told DP that we have to lay the law down together, and DSS needs to be forced to man up.
I pointed out how much his son is costing us, while he pays nothing for his upkeep. I was advised that we should shop at Aldi to reduce the costs.
DP is unwell and 'can't be doing with this shit'. Well, guess what? I fucking can't any longer.
AI actually B fucking U here, or should I just suck up this behaviour? I wish this was a troll post. Unfortunately, it isn't.
I can't kick him out because DP can't deal with it. Sadly, I cannot carry on like this.
FWIW, his DM sides with him. She tells us that he shouldn't be forced to work, because he doesn't suit the 'rat race'. He should be allowed to be his own person, and do something he enjoys. At the expense of everyone else.
Any advice, before I lose it completely?
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Tearing out my hair now
53 replies
throwawayagain · 23/01/2018 22:00
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