Advice needed desperately

(6 Posts)
Sammy91 Wed 17-Jan-18 09:26:21

So I live with my partner my to kids and two ss (step sons) in in my 20s partner I'm he's 30s.. And my eldest ss has just turned 16 and he let's him get away with everything cos apparently my partners excuse was well I was moved out at 16 I reply well he's not so u need too set some ground rules for eg.. My ss kids he's brother out he's room every night so he can have intercourse with his gf I'm guessing they never go to hers cos her parents wont allow it and there not quite to say the least and quite frankly I don't want to hear it! Secondly I give him 30 a week for when he has college (basically had to bribe him to stay in college) and he gets 20 a month off he's mum and 80 a month off the college and he still always moans at me about Money when we have 3 other kids that need stuff... For eg he didn't have college over Christmas he said u owe me 30 I said no I don't u havnt had college. Ss well fine il go to college and cut down my hours so u don't get money for me anymore... He helps himself to food without asking for example I'm about to cook dinner hel go make sarnies eat crisps or cook nuggets ect then won't eat dinner then go and make cereal I've even woke up to get my two 6yo and 7yo cereal before school and there's no milk bc he used it all he doesn't do chores he doesn't even put clothes in wash leaves them at top of stairs he basically does what he wants when he wants hel invite all he's freinds round without asking hel play music loud at gone 12 when he hasn't got college because he doesn't have to be up he doesn't care that everyone else does.. And the newest on apparently he doesn't have to go too his mums anymore if he doesn't want too bc he's 16... I am starting to get so stressed all my partner says is well he is 16 or I was moved out at his age argh... Advice please!! I love all my kids and my ss's but as soon as he turned 16 he's been little sh*t

OP’s posts: |
swingofthings Wed 17-Jan-18 10:26:19

How long have you all lived together? Did you move in to your partner's place? It sounds like an absolute nightmare!

Notasperfectasallothermners Wed 17-Jan-18 10:29:03

I would be calling it a day. Your dp has no intention of parenting his dc. Or ensuring they respect you. Let him hire a cook /cleaner /bottle washer. Tell him you quit.

SandyY2K Wed 17-Jan-18 11:18:16

I'd be gone.

I don't think he should have to ask for food...but everything else is awful.

If he leaves his clothes at the top of the stairs... don't move them don't wash them. Throw them back in his room.

Your partner is being a useless parent...and this is why we have useless men ...

I can't be dealing with kicking his brother out of his room either. I'm sorry..both your kids are being affected...just leave.

Sammy91 Wed 17-Jan-18 14:08:51

We've been living together for nearly 6 years I've known my sister since he was 11 it's both our house... All other kids my partner makes it clear that they have to ask before they take food incase it's for dinners or pack lunch or the fact that I'm just about to do dinner and don't want them filling up before I'm about to stand there and cook but he doesn't say anything to eldest about it both me and my partner grew up in houses were we had to ask before we took especially as my ss doesn't just make himself lunch and leave it at that itl be lunch for egg chips and nuggets the yoghurt then crisps and cereal about hr before dinner then leaves half dinner. And as for kicking his brother out the room it's nearly every night them whole house can hear him at it it makes me cringe especially as both her parents work late so there's never anyone at her house so they could just go there really? Me and my other half had a row about it while ago bc I asked my ss what he was up to as it was fri night and he said everyone is here which means all 9 of he's mates I said no there not ur dad's in bed (had a bug) he's not well he said well I invited them a few days ago I said yh but u didn't ask me or ur dad.. Hour later there was knock on door and all he's mates were here so he basically ignored me and did it anyway... and as u said I said he has no respect he wouldn't talk to u about money like that but he does too me ect I don't know if it's because I'm 9 Yr older so he tries to push it with me.. It's stressing me out I know he's a good kid but lately... Hes dad just thinks bc he's turned 16 he needs more le way basically he can do what he wants when he wants and I disagree as he still lives under our roof... Plus since he's been you know he's been such a miserable sod until he's gf comes round who I think only comes round to get a leg over... Sorry for essay lol

OP’s posts: |
Sammy91 Wed 17-Jan-18 14:10:26

Ss not sister lol*

OP’s posts: |

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