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Pregnancy reaction from big sister

(20 Posts)
gabbydawson Tue 19-Dec-17 19:33:06

How do me and my husband tell my step daughter we are having another baby

OP’s posts: |
clarkyclarkson Tue 19-Dec-17 19:41:46

Hi step daughter, we're having a baby. hmm

Tinselistacky Tue 19-Dec-17 19:43:35

How old is she?

19lottie82 Wed 20-Dec-17 00:10:40

clarky don’t be a twat. hmm

swingofthings Wed 20-Dec-17 07:54:21

Obviously it depends on many factors, so would help if you could share. How old is she, how long have you been with her dad, how often does she visits, relationship between her mum and her dad/you, does she like babies, how many siblings does she have already etc...

My kids knew they were trying and were over the moon when she confirmed she was pregnant (well DD, DS was a bit neutral).

NorthernSpirit Wed 20-Dec-17 09:40:42

As it’s your step sister (and not daughter) I don’t think you need to make a big thing about it. Just tell her. No big deal.

Why do you think there will be a reaction?

user1493413286 Wed 20-Dec-17 09:42:53

We waited until after 12 week scan then just with the 3 of us told her she’d be a big sister and then let her take the lead in talking about it and once she wanted to talk about something else we moved on to that.
My OH also then phoned his ex to tell her so she had a couple of days to get used to it before DSD went home

WhiteCat1704 Wed 20-Dec-17 14:57:46

Like poster above we waited till 12 weeks and just told her. She was very happy, less so after her brother arrived. He is older and bigger now and much more interactive and she is back to happy..

Psychobabble123 Wed 20-Dec-17 14:59:59

How old is she, and how long have you abd her father been together?

bretonknickers Wed 20-Dec-17 15:01:54

how long have you abd her father been together?

How is that relevant?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 20-Dec-17 15:03:43

You make a big thing of her being a big sister so it's as much her news as yours iyswim.

"You're going to be a big sister!" is much more inclusive than
"We're going to have a baby!"

Psychobabble123 Wed 20-Dec-17 15:13:04

Breton its relevant as if its been years and she gas a hood relationship with her DSD shes likely to take the news ok, but if its still relatively new she may find it harder as she is still adjusting to having a stepmother let alone a sibling. I wasn't being judgemental.

Thickasmince Wed 20-Dec-17 15:17:57

Northern what do you mean? How is it her stepsister?

user1498424431 Sun 31-Dec-17 11:20:34

Hi
as a step mum who is pregnant (sd is 9 nearly 10) i would be interested to hear how your sd took the news
my sd is happy (i think) but she is also very jealous and has started telling her bio mum that her problem is that this is my baby and she isnt. whats your relationship like with you sd?

RavingRoo Sun 31-Dec-17 11:23:03

Depends on what your relationship is like. Either way it should be her dad who tells her, not you (and don’t tag team her either).

jingleberries Sun 07-Jan-18 18:37:14

RAVIGROO would it not be better if they told her together?? It is their news not just the dads. Surely it would be better coming from the two of them?

PotteringAlong Sun 07-Jan-18 18:38:11

Depends on how old she is, really.

lifeandtheuniverse Sun 07-Jan-18 21:24:31

Ravingroo - Dad only, she needs to know she is still important.

If it is all SM and Dad, holding hands, secret smiles and obviously looking pleased and if she is not happy, then she immediately feels left out of the new happy family.

Then of course you can do as my DCs SM did and say - so you won't be Dads priority now, the new baby will!!!! Stellar comment - not

hollyindie Mon 08-Jan-18 11:48:19

Just been through this myself few month ago.

I took a step back and let her dad tell her just them two on their special time. He took her a scan picture of baby for her to keep and they went shopping to buy an outfit for baby off her to him.

I also made it clear to sis (I knew she was doing baby shower for me) to invite SD to shower so she is apart of everything. We don't have a close connection me and his daughter but I'd never want her to be jealous of our baby and her brother.

Now we are 38 weeks pregnant we've bought a gift from baby to her for being such a great big sister and will be giving it to her once he is born.

It's very difficult for us as bio Mam has tried to make her jealous. We've had the comments of "baby is taking my place my mam told me" but it's just the reassurance of that not being the case. If anything it's helping me and her bond. I let her help me prepare hospital bag for baby and she is now excited to meet him and help bathe him etc

Beamur Mon 08-Jan-18 16:36:45

I can't remember how we told our SC about the new baby. I have a feeling DH told them without me present, but happily they were pleased and excited about it.
I think having DD made us as a family. SC's Mum also v lovely about it which meant no jealousy etc. She helped DSD knit baby a cardigan.

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