Wondering how to handle this situation with my dd and ds. Age 8 and 9.
My children’s dad had been with the same women since they were babies. They loved her and she loved them. She saw them every weekend and came to school plays, parents evenings, hospital visits, basically she was an equal parent. They would never remember a time of her not being around.
However about 18 months ago she and my children’s dad broke up, it was messy and he asked me not to let her see them. Her sister messaged me and said she was crying missing the children’s and would I allow her to see them and organise it so she needs to have no contact with ex. I agreed, my children were distraught having lost her and I thought that it would be better and less traumatic if she gradually started seeing them less over time rather than all of a sudden when the split happens. I sorted this with ex.
She saw them weekly for dinner for a while and some sundays. Then she went away for work and brought them gifts, came and took them out when she got back. That was 9 months ago and nothing since then.
Which is fine. She has a new boyfriend and I’m so glad she is happy. She is a lovely person.
However my children still ask to see her all the time, to skype her, cried on her birthday when they realised she wouldn’t have a gift from them and they were worried she would think they had forgotten her and didn’t care about her anymore. (Their words)
I don’t skyoe her when they ask and I don’t message her to ask if she wants to see the children as I didn’t want to badger her and interrupt her new life. 9 months is a long time and I suspect we won’t see anymore of her.
My question is how do I explain this to the children? We’ve dragged it out for so long that now I don’t know what to say to them. X
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Step-parenting
When step parents break up...
15 replies
ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 08/12/2017 15:21
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