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Christmas: when to open presents

(12 Posts)
sothisisnew Tue 14-Nov-17 08:24:25

Another Christmas plans one, sorry!

If two exes do alternate Christmases with the DCs, is it a no-no for the parent who hasn't got Christmas Day to open presents with them before Christmas Day?..

My DP and his ex are in the process of going to court over contact (she says she should get every Christmas as it 'means more' to her and her family (mental)), but despite this I'm not sure if it's acceptable behaviour from my DP to have fake Christmas on Christmas Eve. If he doesn't do it then I'm not sure when he will get to- court should tell us soon that it's either 2 days later or a week and a half.

The children are 3 and 4. Am I over-thinking?.. How does everyone else do the two families two Christmases thing? Thanks!

Maybe83 Tue 14-Nov-17 08:29:51

I never did fake Christmas eve/day. Who ever dd was with Christmas eve did Santa and the other parent did present opening and nice dinner with her on their day. At 3 and 4 I think it is to confusing.

Plan a special day when you have them so presents together spend the day playing and eating nice food.

Also if you do end up alternative Xmas eve and mornings your setting it up that she ll probably do the same on her years.

PenguinDi Tue 14-Nov-17 08:47:09

We do a present opening on the closest day to Christmas, but not Santa etc, this year we will be doing presents on Christmas Eve as that is our weekend with DSD.

The1975 Tue 14-Nov-17 08:50:03

Last year we did Christmas early as it wasn’t our year with DSSs. We told them the presents were from us and Santa knew they would be at their Mum’s place. This meant my DD could give them her presents and we had other family over too. They are a bit older than your SC though.

I don’t think you can fake it, as in pretend it’s already Christmas Day, but no reason why you can’t have a family thing with presents.

NorthernSpirit Tue 14-Nov-17 09:12:22

If you are going to court for contact it’s very likely you’ll get alternative Christmas days (that’s the norm and it doesn’t matter if Christmas means ‘more’ to the mum).

We have’t got the SC this year for Christmas Day (we have them the weekend before Christmas and then pick them up on the 29th for NYE.

So we’ll have an early Christmas Day on Sat 16th. Don’t over think it. You can do whatever you want in your contact time.

sothisisnew Tue 14-Nov-17 09:59:41

Thanks everyone. I think that is a fair distinction, if we say these presents are from daddy and the presents on Christmas Day are from Father Christmas then it doesn't really matter which comes first. Then hopefully next year, their mummy will do the same thing.

SarahH12 Wed 15-Nov-17 20:28:15

It sounds like you've got a good plan. We see DSD Christmas eve until about 4 pm and then boxing day from 9 am and she's with her mum in between. It works for us as her mum does a big family thing with DSD's grandparents, cousins etc. However I can totally understand why your DP would push for Christmas day and I quite agree that it meaning more to her in your particular situation is ludicrous.

With our setup, Santa delivers presents on Christmas day either to her house or her grandmas depending on where she's staying and then she has presents off us on boxing day. If we only saw her Christmas eve we'd just give her presents to her then.

Purpleforest Sat 18-Nov-17 14:15:55

DSC's mum always does a fake Christmas on whatever day happens to suit her - sometimes before, sometimes after. The DSC have never complained either way. More presents and two lots of turkey seem to suit them finewink I wouldn't over think it all.

TeenTimesTwo Sat 18-Nov-17 19:17:33

If Santa only brings the stockings and everything else is from proper people then your problem more or less disappears. It's a lot simpler that way too.

Chasingsquirrels Sat 18-Nov-17 19:24:49

I did our Christmas on Christmas Eve one year, thinking back the dc's were probably 8 & nearly 4.
I did actually have them on Christmas Day, but then they were going to their dad's on Boxing Day morning and I wanted them to have more than a few hours before they went and got another load of presents.
It worked really well, no one seemed to care that it wasn't actually Christmas Day - apart from my dad who said he wasn't doing presents on Christmas Eve (I think my mum was v cross with him about that).

Runlovingmummy81 Sat 25-Nov-17 20:52:40

We split Xmas. So one parent had Xmas eve and up to 1pm Xmas day, the other gets from 1pm Xmas day and boxing day. Seems to work at the minute but not sure as the kids get older. They are 5 and 6.

mrsaxlerose Wed 06-Dec-17 16:58:28

I was lucky as my DS spent Christmas eve and Christmas morning with me and opened presents and then we had lunch. I would then call his dad who would could and pick him up for presents and tea at his grandma house. We got around the presents and Santa issue because his initial were the same as his dad and three aunts (who all lived in the house) so we said that Santa had got confused with all the NW,s in the house and mixed up the presents leaving some of his with them. As he got a little older we would leave the girls present at ours and put them under our tree so some of their presents were left with him . Complicated but it worked keep the Santa magic alive. if your creative you can get around it.

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