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Wwyd with DSC waking loads in the night

(20 Posts)
CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 18:51:38

So DSC has always stayed from a young age with no issues. But recently keeps waking in the night. (5yrs old) but doesn't say why. Just unsettled walks into us and asks us to get up. Even at 2am. We gently explain it's still night time and then the tears come.
This goes on a while. Now at DSC mums sc is allowed into mummy's bed... Which I think that's what she's after here.

I have said to dp I'm. More than happy to swap beds when DSC wakes.. But on the other hand DSC needs to know that can't always happen. I'm also pregnant so once baby comes I'd need to be in own bed with the crib etc.

Dps ex said as SC does it since her and her BF split up, (In may this yr..) And has been doing in at home since then. And it gives herself a peaceful sleep for work the next day.
Here it's only been the last few times.

We hate seeing DSC upset in the night. But we also have a feeling it's an attention thing as it's a ' sniff sniff' type cry. Rather than actual cry.?

Wondering if we should persevere and put back to bed and Risk being a bit upset. Or just give in... But thinking long term.

His ex says I should swap beds at the beginning of the night! Im at a loss as my DS has never had any issues like this so wouldn't know the best Option.

Hercules12 Sat 11-Nov-17 18:56:11

I think you both need to be a bit strict about this. Yes she might be a bit upset but it will be much harder to stop it if it continues. As long as she feels loved and secure it won't harm her. I speak as someone who coslept.

lifeandtheuniverse Sat 11-Nov-17 18:56:37

Personally I would presevere - alot of change for her a the moment but a routine that is set would be more stable.

Mum BF left, you are having a baby - she is worried and of course you will have the baby in your room when it is born, if you then kick her out it will be even worse.

My eldest really struggled going to Dads, because everyone else was together, youngest DC when with her 2 DCs, Dad and DP together, eldest stuck on their own. Then baby turned up and he was booted out of "his" room and into the laundry room . a lot of reassurance and a lot of upset.

Keep your routine - she is unsettled but needs stability

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 18:58:20

Thank you.
It's so hard bless her.. Let's see what tonight brings. X

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 19:00:20

Ah DSC won't be treated any different I. E room swap when baby arrives. As has own room anyway..
Like I say until prob early Oct has been fine.. Never ever any issues.
But often says mummy says I should be allowed to sleep with daddy and you sleep in my bed.

CotswoldStrife Sat 11-Nov-17 19:01:49

Has it only been happening at your house since she knew about the pregnancy? She's probably really worried about that.

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 19:06:13

No she's known about the pregnancy since August and is always excited saying the baby needs to come out now so she can meet it..

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 19:06:22

Can you give her room a makeover at your house? A treat for nearly being a big sis? New duvet set / lamp etc. Letting her in your bed is creating more trouble imo. Seeing you both up with a new baby during the night may encourage more jealous feelings.
Don't agree adults bed juggling to please a dc anyway!!

Josieannathe2nd Sat 11-Nov-17 19:06:41

If pop a mat or something on the floor next to DSD bed. Then when they wake their dad should go back with them but stay with them for a while- they’re obviously seeing some kind of reassurance/comfort so they need to get it, but as you’ll soon have a baby best not to get them used to coming into your bed.

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 19:11:17

Yeah. That's a good idea. Was planning on doing her room in December anyway but may start this week at looking at stuff.
She does have all newish stuff this yr that she chose in fairies but now likes unicorn and barbie so maybe look at that stuff for a Suprise smile *

Munchkin08 Sat 11-Nov-17 19:19:55

My daughter used to come in in the night, I bought her a new quilt and cover she loved an she has slept through ever since.

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 21:36:46

Brill thanks. Told dp. Will have a nose tomorrow smile

lunar1 Sat 11-Nov-17 21:53:26

I’d get your dh to go lay with her for a while. Even if she is happy about the baby it’s still a big change. I wouldn’t start with you swapping beds, it sets an odd dynamic that isn’t sustainable when your baby arrives.

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 11-Nov-17 22:24:06

Thank you for your replies. Will try anything lol x

SarahH12 Fri 17-Nov-17 14:11:37

How are you getting on Cinnamon Hope things have settled down a bit. I agree it would be a bad idea to let her in your bed especially then when baby comes she'll no longer be allowed to stay in your bed and I think that'd make her feel more pushed out.

All you can do is keep reassuring her.

MycatsaPirate Fri 17-Nov-17 18:00:34

Has she got a night light? If not, get one. Also look at the things that project stars/fish/stuff onto the walls/ceiling. If she wakes she could put that on and watch it until she goes back to sleep.

Normally I'd say humour her and let her squeeze in on her dads side but with a new baby coming I totally agree that a routine needs to be in place now. Otherwise it will look like a massive rejection if the baby is in your room and she then has to be in her own bed.

Also get your DP to have a word with his ex, she isn't helping by saying to the dc that you should be in a different bed so she can sleep with her dad!

Purpleforest Fri 17-Nov-17 19:47:45

My DD has always had a lot of trouble settling back to sleep in the night. Audio books helped her from about that she. She would listen to familiar stories until she fell back to sleep. A new teddy or soft toy might also help

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 18-Nov-17 01:20:27

Touch wood all has been OK since posted.. Bizzare.
Out if the blue the next day she said to me ' do you think Santa can see if children and me wake up lots in the night and be sad ?
I said possibly but it would depend on why the children wake up. For example some may be poorly or need a wee.

She replied.. Oh , um I think I'll try and sleep in my own bed then

Completely out the blue lol.. We did get a new duvet cover and teddy. She's mad on Teddies so was very happy.

She doesn't like a night light, she prefers it dark, always has done from birth apparently.. We did ask her and she said no as ' it's hard to shut my eyes if there's a light on' lol

PSMum2 Sat 18-Nov-17 14:49:32

Your partner’s ex is telling their daughter that you should leave your bed so she can sleep in your place?

You have a long road ahead of you, especially with a little one on the way. I wish you much luck.

CinnamonAndSpice Sat 18-Nov-17 20:55:26

Yep exactly that crazy eh? Touch wood has been OK since.. Xx

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