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Step kids

(15 Posts)
Dad70 Wed 08-Nov-17 01:15:19

I’ve been with my partner for two years now, she has two children, one that lives with us and the other who lives with his biological father, they have equal responsibility of the two children and the daughter stays with her dad and the son with us every other weekend, it’s a real nightmare situation, the son when in our care will think nothing of shouting at his sister and even punching her when she becomes annoying, sometime she will go out of her way to cause a reaction to get him into trouble, they totally trash the house, and when I’m being a responsible parent and make them aware that there behaviour isn’t except able they go running to other family members making out that I’m the bad person, the boy has rang his sister late at night to get her to steal cigarettes out of his mums handbag to take to school for him. He’s been excluded from school hitting a lad 4 years younger than himself, he’s always getting into trouble, been excluded from cadet camp for smoking in camp out the window, he’s only 15, the daughter is extremely lazy, always telling lies, arguing with u when you are just expecting her to Carry our normal everyday routines, the list goes on and on, I’m at a witts end as they are not my kids and find them so difficult. Please help

Methemandus Wed 08-Nov-17 06:16:06

Is it really worth the stress? I’m sure you love your partner but is this what you want for the rest of your life?
How long have you been together?

NewLove Wed 08-Nov-17 10:51:56

You may get a slating for using the word biological - will be interesting to see if that happens or if it is just SM s that get that verbal beating...

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 08-Nov-17 10:56:35

I couldn't do that. If I were going to move in with someone who had children, I'd have to love those children.

Belleoftheball8 Wed 08-Nov-17 11:00:46

Fuck sake is it really hard to not say his father why use the bio dad or biogical dad it’s rude. You already said that your partner has dc from past relationships so the reference to biological father has no relevance. Your the second man to do this and people let it go wrongly, yet if sm does this they get called up on it.

Maybe the son feel resentful that his sister gets his mother all the time and he doesn’t. Although it sounds like you don’t like the kids and 2years together is a short time.

pipistrell Wed 08-Nov-17 11:05:21

Fuck sake is it really hard to not say his father why use the bio dad or biogical dad it’s rude

Fucks sake why don't you accept its YOUR problem and not the OP's? It's descriptive in the scenario.

OP it sounds like a lot of hassle. I think the key is whether your partner has any need for the situation to improve. If you're on your own then it's not salvageable

Belleoftheball8 Wed 08-Nov-17 17:13:44

Because the double standard on here is appalling if op had been female and used derogatory terminology

Justoneme Wed 08-Nov-17 22:51:58

A hard conversation is needed with the kids ... 15?! These are young adults... 16 they can move out ... get a job and do on ... have the hard conversation with them.

Your DP needs to parent these children... take a step back from the children and breath ...

Biglettuce Wed 08-Nov-17 22:54:24

I think there are way, way bigger issues to help the OP with than bickering over the pc name.

I feel sorry and applauded about these kids in equal measure. Stealing? Punching? There’s some serious stuff here. Their parents, they needed to step up to this years ago? Or are they some of the cause? Why are they so troubled? Why so much violence?

I couldn’t cope as a step anything in this situation. I’d walk out.

Yet, if there’s any way you could be a better role model, or support these kids then do. There’s something really troubled there.

Biglettuce Wed 08-Nov-17 22:54:59

Appauled... aaarghhh sorry!

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Wed 08-Nov-17 22:57:46

I wouldn’t be arsed with that at all. Could you move out and just see your partner when he leaves DC aren’t there?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Wed 08-Nov-17 22:58:33

Appalled grin

Biglettuce Wed 08-Nov-17 23:07:13

Quite... thanks battered blush

Wdigin2this Tue 21-Nov-17 23:51:28

Oh sod's not worth the hassle, the continual irritation and the whole bloody angst!
Get out while you still can!

Aries456 Sat 09-Dec-17 07:40:28

Is there any joint effort from their mother and father on tackling the behaviour? It all sounds difficult and yes, I guess you have to weigh things up. Is it possible for all adults involved to try and tackle the behaviour or has it gone too far? If so, is the relationship worth it?
As a side note, I must be really thick because I don't understand what is wrong with using the word 'biological'? Perhaps someone could explain to us simpletons!

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