So sorry for the long post; I’ve been an avid mumsnet reader and hoping for some much needed advice or support or even both...
So boyfriend of 8 months. Amazing man. I have a son from previous relationship and he has a daughter from a previous relationship. I wasn’t expecting to fall for someone so hard after getting out of a violent relationship at the end of last year. But he was the one. I’d not wanted anymore kids or marriage due to my past but he changed all that. We were planning a child next year and even talking about marriage asap.
So last week we were mid argument about something really petty when he gets a phone call from his sister. Nothing seemed abnormal. He carried on the argument but dropped in he’d just had some bad news. After pushing him on it he dropped the bombshell he’s just found out that he maybe has another baby (3 weeks old approx) As I’m sure you can imagine, shock was my instant reaction. After some talking he left and went home. Something didn’t add up to me as when he supposedly found this out during the call he had no shock. No emotion. Nothing. And when I pushed him on this he admitted he’d known that this girl was pregnant and it might be his since before we got together and had known the baby was born and he’d had contact with the girl. So as you can imagine I flipped at the lies.
Now he’s getting a dna test. But I really don’t know what to do.
I love him so so much but I honestly don’t know if I can get past these lies. And as bad as it sounds if this child is his I don’t know if I can take it on as well.
I have Heath issues and have recently changed careers that will include a lot of training. He already has difficulty seeing his previous daughter due to a difficult ex and this current potential is not exactly being easy. I have my son to worry about in all of this and how this will effect him. I just can’t have another baby myself, (Health/financially/Emotionally) on top of all this if it is his. It would just be too much. So It would mean me giving up my planned future with him if it is.
Add ontop of all of this my past. I still to this day don’t know who my dad is and was beaten by my stepmom and I’m certain it was because they knew I probably wasn’t my dads.
Then the icing on the cake is I was suspectedly pregnant myself, and I’ve now miscarried the day after all of this came out. (I’ve miscarried before so know what it’s like)
I honestly feel so bad for this new baby and she deserves to have her dad in her life but I just don’t honestly know if I can handle all of this.
Sorry for such long winded post but please can anyone advise...
Desperately waiting for help....
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Boyfriend has another child....
23 replies
user1468348545 · 25/10/2017 01:43
OP posts:
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