So, my husband has two kids by two different women who live on different sides of the country. One weekend we are forced to go up north to see his oldest daughter, this takes us 3.5 hours driving and having to stay overnight at his mothers (who only has a one bedroom apartment) or we wouldn’t see his eldest ever.... his other lives 1.5 hours south with his ex girlfriend. They separated before her second birthday, she turns 10 next month.
When I first met both the oldest and youngest they both liked me and wanted to hang out, suddenly, the 10 year old can’t stand being in my presence, lies to my face about how she feels, and sends her dad drawings (when I had just moved here (from abroad) and we were engaged) of her, her mum, and him together as a family....
she has also started refusing to come up to ours on her weekend so my husband has to go down to his ex girlfriends and spend the day with her in his ex girlfriends house, or else he doesn’t get to see her... I respect that she wants alone time with her father and I am happy to go out whenever she comes to ours and or have them go out and do things together, so am unclear why he has to go down there when she wants “daddy time”.... he gets a massive guilt trip from the ex girlfriend about not ever seeing his daughter and how if she were him she would be doing whatever she could to see her whenever possible... the man works a full time job so he can support both kids (the ex girlfriend doesn’t work and the ex wife doesn’t make much) and has to see his other child on the other weekend and she was the one who moved down south to begin with.
I am sure this will come across as selfish, but we did end up making a schedule so we get one weekend a month for us, which means one month one girl misses a weekend, the next month the other girl misses a weekend. I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all, but the fit the ex girlfriend threw was immense... she couldn’t believe how selfish my husband was being and how he could not want to see his daughter. All he wants is to see his kids, that’s all he talks about.
It wasn’t this bad until we said I do..... I just want to have a happy marriage and I am sure that most people would disagree, but the kids aren’t going to be kids forever and putting them first all the time leaves you with nothing when they’re gone/grownup.
We have been together for 2 years married for only 10 months, and the last 10 months have been hell... of it doesn’t get better my marriage isn’t going to last.
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Stepdaughter decided she doesn’t like me... new sm
185 replies
MS28 · 22/10/2017 17:57
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