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Headlice help

(54 Posts)
Hakunamutatanomore Thu 19-Oct-17 20:07:09

My SD always seems to have lice. Her BM who she lives with seems to never even attempt to treat it.

Since I hate the idea of using harsh chemicals on a child and the smell of treatments makes me gag (My own traumatic experiences with lice as a child) I use the more natural method of mayonnaise instead. Not only are there no harsh chemicals, but it leaves the hair soft and glossy when washed out. And last time she didn't have live for 6 weeks after! Let alone the big savings in cost!

However last time I did this, her BM and BGM (mothers side) kicked off because she "is not a sandwich". She's now covered again and it's got to the point where I'm getting them from sitting in the same chair she brushed her hair in. Her mother never seems to do it so it's left to me again.

I'm fed up of being lumbered with this job because we rarely get any quality time together and this small period of time I seem to be forever combing for lice which as you all know kids hate!

Now I'm at a stand still and stuck as to what to do:

- do you see a problem with using mayo?
- would you use mayo again despite their reactions and the possible arguments to follow
- should I just leave it in the hope the mother pulls her socks up... I can't exactly tell her how to be a mother when I'm not a real one myself!

Note: SD and her father have no problem with the use of mayo

Please help!

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 20:08:44

You mean her mother, not her birth mother. She lives with her mother. She has not been removed from her mother’s care.

Just buy a nitty gritty and some bloody hedrin and stop dicking about with condiments. HTH.

niknac1 Thu 19-Oct-17 20:12:05

We use nutty gritty and hefting and it’s hard enough with that. You can get them easily enough. Once you’ve got them it’s difficult to get rid because they continue to go around the class.

niknac1 Thu 19-Oct-17 20:12:37

Nitty gritty and Hedrin

user1493413286 Thu 19-Oct-17 20:13:15

If you want to use mayo and it works then do it, if they want to use chemicals and have such strong opinions then they should do it themselves.
Mother not treating the headlice is a slightly bigger issue though and isn’t on.

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Thu 19-Oct-17 20:14:33

Nitty gritty and cheap conditioner.

Your partner needs to be tackling her mother on this.

ivykaty44 Thu 19-Oct-17 20:16:58

Olive oil method works well look it up

But just do it as Dsd arrives and then straighten her hair if you can before she leaves

Should do the trick

NoCryLilSoftSoft Thu 19-Oct-17 20:18:01

I'm fed up of being lumbered with this job

You’re not. You’re choosing to do it. It’s her parents’ job. Her father is also choosing not to do it just like her mother. (Not birth mother!)

ivykaty44 Thu 19-Oct-17 20:19:11

The reason mayo works is due to it being made with olive oil

So just cut out the eggs and mustard 😉

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Thu 19-Oct-17 20:20:10

As a step mum I'd treat my Stepchildren. Mainly because it's horrible and itchy for them. Secondly I don't want to get nits myself when we cuddle or they cuddle my other children.

Your partner needs to be more vocal and proactive on this.

Out2pasture Thu 19-Oct-17 20:23:02

please treat your step child’s lice problem with an approved method of treatment.

Bunkai Thu 19-Oct-17 20:24:26

The mayo method suffocates live lice but takes 8 hours to do it. Poor girl must stink of rotten eggs by that time.

Headlice are sneaky little fuckers so the mother could well be dealing with it.

heidiwine Thu 19-Oct-17 20:30:11

I'm a step mum (of many years now). My DSDs mother will pick on everything I do - I really cannot win. So I step back. They're DPs children and in your situation my line would be:
Your girls have nits, they need to be treated. If they were my girls I would use mayo or olive oil rather than chemicals. They are your children so you need to deal with this - please can you a) tell your ex how you plan to treat them and b) ask her to continue treating them (in whichever way she sees fit) at home.

End of story. You will have to self treat to avoid getting them. It's shit but you can't control it...

Hakunamutatanomore Thu 19-Oct-17 21:04:50

Just want to address some issues that have come up.

1. I put BM because she calls me mum too (of her own choice)... in my head I needed to differentiate for the ease of reading without using names... I in know way meant it in a way to take her title away from her... I even said later on that I'm not a 'real' mother so don't get so uppity. She is her mother, I'm also seen by SD as her mother so to all intensive purposes her "real mother" is scientifically still her biological mother.

2. I use nitty gritty and it's fab just find it easier for the lice to be suffocated and slower so I don't get run always. Thanks for the other non chemical suggestions.

3. We have spoken to her mother multiple times regarding this. And we ask SD if her mother has done anything to see if I'd need to, so know nothing is being done.

4. Her father does attempt to do it when she let's him but SD is at that awkward age where she thinks 'men can't do it right' and find it difficult to reduce the pulling (her hair is thick and curly so nots easily)

5. Mayo doesn't take 8hrs to work, normally half hour is enough and in good old British cold weather it doesn't smell at that point.

6. What exactly are the approved methods? The ones that companies are making and saying are approved simply because they passed legal standards... doesn't mean they always work, my experience has been they work once before having to use a different one.

7. More natural methods such as oil etc shouldn't be looked as unapproved... what do you think grandma used back in the day when there wasn't headlice products.

8. I prefer a natural element as she has very sensitive skin, as I did when I was younger. I found that these products burnt my scalp as a child.

9. Yes I am choosing to do it, but as an adult who cares for this child and has the opportunity to do it, I feel it is my duty / job. As I'm sure you would feel with your own kids.

Thanks for all opinions and thoughts... Just got to work out what to do now

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 21:07:35

Can’t read past the first line. You need to tell her not to call you Mum

You are the adult. You need to correct her, nicely, and say I’m so and so, you are Not her Mum and I would take your head clean off your shoulders if you weren’t actively but nicely correcting one of mine with this.

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 21:08:40

Hedrin won’t burn her scalp. It’s not your job.

You are overstepping and the Mum shows it.

TopBitchoftheWitches Thu 19-Oct-17 21:10:13

If my ex h’s partner called me my children’s birth mother, I wouldn’t be too pleased. You are not in anyway her mother. You should perhaps not have allowed her to call you Mum but by your name?

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 21:10:54

It’s not your duty job. She she not your own kid.


2014newme Thu 19-Oct-17 21:12:22

Hedrin and nitty gritty. Not mayonnaise. You can comb them out using that but it doesn't kill them nor the eggs so will keep coming back.
I don't think you're bothered about chemistry after all that's what shampoo is, you just don't want to fork out for the hedrin

2014newme Thu 19-Oct-17 21:13:27

Hedrin does not burn your scalp.

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 21:14:04

Maybe work on girls and boys and ladies and men can do all sorts and Dad can do your hair just fine?

Cokeis Thu 19-Oct-17 21:14:33

Grandma used liquid paraffin. HTH

Haudyerwheesht Thu 19-Oct-17 21:21:05

Do you actually KNOW her mum isn't treating it? Also I would be surprised if you catch them from sitting in the same chair ....

Tbh I'd recommend stopping dicking around with mayonnaise - use hedrin or similar that kills lice and eggs and see what happens. You can also comb through with conditioner and straighten her hair to top up the protection.

imokit Thu 19-Oct-17 21:21:29

I have the worlds most sensitive skin, I can react to anything (being a bit slow on the uptake, I didn't realise I had lice until I looked up a rash on the back of my neck - it was a reaction to their poo). I then used the most potent chemicals the pharmacy had, no reaction to the chemicals.
To stop lice coming back (once you've got rid of them), nitty gritty nightly with conditioner in the bath/shower. If DSD is old enough you can teach her to do it herself. It means you pick up a random louse which has wondered over before it can lay eggs and an infestation has set in.

NoCryLilSoftSoft Thu 19-Oct-17 21:38:18

so to all intensive purposes her "real mother" is scientifically still her biological mother.

Yes but none of us struggle to understand what you mean by the word mother. We know what a mother is So no need to point out which mother you are talking about. We know that mother means her mother.

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