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Am I always going to be the bad person

(4 Posts)
Lostmum72 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:36:36

Just feel a bit sorry for myself, my step daughters aren't bad kids they are however teenagers, 12 and 13. I have my own dd and ds too 11 and 14.

I just feel my dsd 's hate me, hate is probably too strong a word but any opportunity they have to put me down they will. I mean we play family games together, we go on holiday together, I run around after them, clean and cook havectheir school uniforms ready. Take them out for lunch/dinner sometimes just me and them, go shopping and buy stuff for them. No I really get nothing back, they moan I've bought something for my dd and not them. Younger sd has said to my ds I do nothing, just sit round all day her dad does everything and her mum works every day!

A few years ago my eldest sd sent a horrible text message about how she hated me and my dd, my dd had fuck u notes in her room, she stole things from her room, tells lies and she tried to cause trouble between me and and my dp and this was all going on while my dad was dying of cancer! I know their mum who is fine these days but I think she was jealous and liked to manipulate the girls. I just get down about it sometimes, my dc aren't perfect but if they have never been rude or disrespectful to my dp even though he does tell them off sometimes.

I think no matter what happens I will always be the bad person. Is that called being a step parent though as that's what my dp says confused

Magda72 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:19:37

Hmmm - no not bad kids but badly behaved kids. What does their dad think of all this?
That's some fairly rotten treatment there & you wouldn't be expected to take it from an adult so why would you take it from a child?
Personally I would refuse point blank to be treated like that.

WhiteCat1704 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:36:05

I agree with Magda72.

What is your DP doing about it? Your SDs don't have to like you but they should show you respect in your home. If they aren't your DP is failing you..

Lostmum72 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:28:27

Well he did speak to them when these things happened, but then something else will happen, he thinks everything is hunky dory now, it's all been forgotten about, maybe I should but really deep down I can't!! Also when things are happening under his nose he can't see it, he still thinks ohhh they wouldn't do that!?

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