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Is this unreasonable? Regarding DSD

(18 Posts)
CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 17:13:11

So DSD stays fortnightly overnight
However he's just had a txt saying it's unfair and disgusting that dsd has to wait for daddy to get up and she watches TV with my ds and waits for dp to get up for Ages.

However. She literally says daddy I'm awake now. He prob takes no more than 5 min to actually wake properly and get out of bed , quick pee and put some lounge clothes on, he's there within MAX 10 min. And generally I'm up anyway and pottering about.. He then cooks breakfast which she likes to help Sometimes, and I wash up Whislt he showers. Then baths her. He has lots of 1-1 time with her. And spends lots of time playing barbies or pony's lol..but she's told mummy she has to wait ages for daddy to get up she's 5.5 and I'm sure 10 min seems like ages.
But he feels bad. I've said well you do have to wake up properly, he suffers vertigo so diving straight up isn't wise lol.. And obviously has to pee.
Were all in 1 level so not like she's downstairs with my DS or whatever it's two. Rooms away. He's 12. And he just asks her what she wants to watch. He puts it on of I'm not already in there.
Do u think maybe its dsd not getting the concept of time? Bearing in mind everything is next week or Last week bless her. And his ex sees it as she's waiting hours. ( which she should know he's not like that) and it's only just been mentioned 2 years down the line? If that's the case maybe it would of been better for her to maybe ask rather than assume.
We've replied what the exact thing is that happens and she wrote whatever!

I'm. Confused hoping like I say it's just her age and she doesn't get the concept of time.

swingofthings Tue 17-Oct-17 17:20:31

He feels bad because he takes 10 minutes to get up? ummm, could it be that he does most of the time, but on occasions it's more like an hour?

Not that it matters because there is nothing wrong with your DSD watching tv with your DS until you and her dad gets up. Those are the texts that you read with a smile and then ignore completely.

CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 17:31:46

No honestly it's 10 Min everytime max which is why I'm Suprised and his ex should know that's what's he's like he's a 'make the most of the day' type person.
Where as I on the other had love an afternoon snooze lmao.

Belleoftheball8 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:39:48

I think it's a lot longer than you think or saying it is op, I think your minisiming. Realistically if she's only going to your house once a fortnightly he should be getting up with her during that time.

Mama234 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:49:59

My ss does this, I think he used to do it as his Mum was very negative on our relationship, So he would make things up or exaggerate things to please her, He still does it now unfortunately but was especially bad at that age.

CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 17:50:42

So he shouldn't have time to pee? . I can hand on heart say it's that short period.
We also have her 2 days in week from sch but non overnight them days.
Like I say I wonder if it's a concept of time. As her birthday is may and to her that's last week. Xmas is last week too. So hopefully it's just that.

CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 17:52:46

I don't think she's doing it maliciously I think it's a concept of time as said. But maybe mums got confused. Hoping when he speaks to dsd later he can try and understand what she means.

Mama234 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:54:09

Also its completely normal for a child of that age to not understand lengths of time. If they are waiting for something/someone it can seem like ages.

CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 17:57:26

Yeah that's what I said to dp. The other day she had a friends party it was 3 hours. She was there Alllll day lol
He's ringing her before bed in an hour so will try and see what she meant and explain to the ex.
But as he said she should know that wouldn't be the case, but maybe just expressd a concern that had been raised? Like anyone would.

RebelRogue Tue 17-Oct-17 17:58:27

Dd(also 5) : mummy how long till i go to bed?
Me: 10 minutes
Dd: can I have 6 minutes instead?

gringrinno concept of time yet.

SatansLittleHelper2 Tue 17-Oct-17 18:04:54

Would one of those bunny alarm things help ?? Or could her dad bring her into bed for a.snuggle for 5 mins before getting up for a pee etc ??

swingofthings Tue 17-Oct-17 18:57:05

No doubt that this could be explained by an issue with concept of time at that age. Why I don't get is why your DP would feel bad when he does get up every time within 10 minutes. What is he feeling bad about if that is the case?

CinnamonAndSpice Tue 17-Oct-17 19:57:42

He feels bad that his daughter feels like that.
He spoke on the phone before bed and he said why do u think daddy takes ages. She said because you probably brush your teeth or something. He said do u think daddy is asleep snoring.. She said no daddy that's silly you snore at bedtime when it's dark that's when everyone snores.
He was on speaker his ex's end and she laughed and think it's sorted as she agreed it was his dd that was confused

Thanks for your help though.. She sometimes does jump into bed for snuggles especially if woken early. So does my DS it's a squeeze lol.

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 18-Oct-17 12:25:39

Those are the texts that you read with a smile and then ignore completely.

If you and DP knows she well cared for when she's with you I wouldn't give it a second thought or engage with her Mum about it.

FaFoutis Wed 18-Oct-17 12:29:40

She probably just wants more time with her father in general. It's an expression of that.

Biglettuce Wed 18-Oct-17 15:44:45

No I don’t think you want to engage with the mother on this. I think along the realm of good enough parenting, then co parents don’t criticize the other.

If they had a better relationship, like were able to meet for coffee, then that might come up but still.

I don’t think it’s the worst thing ever to have a child watch tv with your kid at the weekend. I give my kids a later breakfast, an hour later than week days.

But it’s always good to look at our parenting. My kids don’t have me jumping up in the morning, but they love a cuddle instead and that’s fine.

However, if this is a symptom of a more general slackness - that’s good to tackle.

sinceyouask Wed 18-Oct-17 16:00:06

Roll your eyes at this silliness and carry on as normal.

SingingSeuss Wed 18-Oct-17 16:04:51

Maybe let her get on her with you while he 'wakes up' so she's not feeling abandoned?

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