Did you take DSC on honeymoon?

[sadandanxious]

Just that really. If you did / didn't what were your reasons?

[TwoDots]

If children of any variety join you then it’s not a honeymoon in my opinion. I’d defo not take a child

[RavingRoo]

Depends on their age and whether they have a mum. If they are too young to be left and don’t have a mum then you should take them, otherwise they should stay with their mum.

[RavingRoo]

Mum or dad

[mummyretired]

No we didn't, because we wanted to be alone. Youngest child was 5 and they stayed with their auntie, who they knew well; subsequently the children lived with us full time.

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

That's not a honeymoon, that's a family holiday!

[sadandanxious]

She's 5 and has a mum - will probably be 7 by the time we get around to marrying. Thing is we'd love to elope and get married abroad so combine the honeymoon and wedding. But would that be horrible to not take DSD? We'd like to have a church blessing and meal out when we get back and of course DSD would be involved with that.

[RavingRoo]

Ah ok so it’s a wedding and not a honeymoon. Of course you need to take her OP. Leaving a stepchild out of an overseas wedding is cruel - am shocked your DP is even considering it.

[Wanderlust800]

When it comes to my DP and I getting married, we're going off abroad on our own and having a reception when we get back for the family and children to be involved - nothing wrong with that whatsoever - we'll just need to plan it in the school holidays if we can coz my delightful ex would never agree to having DS during term time and have to drop off and pick up from school every day - yay

[sadandanxious]

Raving but nobody else is coming?? It's literally just me and DP

wander I'm so glad it's not just me! Sorry your ex is not helpful!

[PotteringAlong]

Wedding she needs to be there, even if no one else is. Honeymoon she doesn't.

[sadandanxious]

pottering why? She's there for the church blessing and the meal. Why does she need to be there for the actual wedding? She can't just be there for the wedding and then ship her back on a long haul plane on her own so we can enjoy the honeymoon.

[sweetbitter]

DSS's mum didn't take DSS on honeymoon, we had DSS for extra and his grandparents did the midweek nights that we couldn't . I think newlyweds should get to have a child free honeymoon where that's what they want and alternative childcare can be arranged.

The wedding bit is a spanner in the world, do you think DSD would actually be upset at missing the wedding abroad given no one else would be there?

[sweetbitter]

spanner in the works , obviously!

[5had03]

Not sure your DP should want to get married abroad when he has a child.

Just honeymoon I completely understand

[Ecureuil]

My mum and step dad got married abroad without taking me and my brother. I’m still a bit bitter about it!

[Dancinggoat]

You must take her if you're getting married abroad.
Kids come as a package I'd feel odd leaving them out of a holiday honeymoon or not. But that's just me.

[sadandanxious]

She's with her Mum most of the time. I don't think they should have to go on every holiday. We take her on about half even though we don't have 50:50 custody. Same as her mum, she sometimes goes away with her and without her when DSD is with us.

We don't want to get married here and tbh she'd be dead bored at a wedding with nobody but us, witnesses and the person conducting the wedding.

[GeorgeTheHamster]

It's utterly unreasonable

[AccidentalyRunToWindsor]

If you and DP are eloping just the 2 of you then I would leave the 7 year old with her mum.

My DSC were at the ceremony only and then taken back to their mum by a relative after the photos (DH ex did the same when she got married ) children of that age find weddings tedious in my experience. To her the blessing and the party afterwards will be much more exciting.

[sadandanxious]

Sorry george i didn't realise I'd posted in AIBU.

That's our thoughts exactly accidentaly. Weddings are boring at the best of times but even more so when you're a child.

[AndNoneForGretchenWieners]

Nope. DSS1 looked after DSS2 at home (he was 20 at the time) and DS stayed with my parents. It's not a honeymoon with children.

[5had03]

people cannot think it’s unreasonable unless you post in AIBU?

You posted thou so people will have opinions

[sadandanxious]

Okay fair enough but what is the point in posting it's unreasonable without saying why one thinks it's unreasonable?

We're really not the kind of couple who think a wedding should be a public affair. We want a quiet ceremony with just the two of us and then a celebration with DSD and a few others after that. I can't see how that's unreasonable. I hated being dragged to weddings as a child. I much preferred the times I got to stay with someone else whilst my parents went.

[5had03]

I don’t know why they think it was unreasonable ask them

[Wanderlust800]

sad - we asked our grown up family if they would mind if we went away and got married on our own and they were all totally for it - I also think the expense of having to come along didn't appeal to them lol

if you really feel strongly - make a bigger deal of the blessing on your return and involve DSD in a "bridesmaid" type role. I know for a fact my DSD will be over the moon to dress up as a princess and dance the night away! I'd like my DS to "give me away" as such too

We feel that we've been through enough crap that we can afford to be selfish for once and do what we want, how we want as we'll probably not get the chance to do it again - go for it!