So what’s fair for Christmas when you have DSC and DC? Who gets what proportion of the Christmas budget?
I’m afraid this is long, but I want to paint an accurate picture.
We have 4 DCs. 2 DDs are mine aged 11 & 13. They don’t have any contact with their Dad at all, so no presents. DH has 2 DCs, DSD 11 & DSS 9 and they live with us a little over 50/50. We do live in the EU but not UK.
The last 2 Christmases we have had the DSC part of Christmas Day, but either we have had to rush our Christmas to drop them off at their Mums or my DCs have had to wait until they turn up (usually 3 or 4 hours late) so that we can open presents etc and have our family Christmas together. This has felt really unfair on my DCs. It has also meant we can’t see my family at Christmas.
This year we won’t be having DSC until 29th Dec, but next year we will be having them for Christmas and not doing the change over on the day. Which feels like a real improvement. This year DH, myself and my DDs will be spending it with my family in the UK, next year we will spend it with DHs family and all the kids.
What is fair in terms of presents? For the last 3 Christmases I have spent roughly the same amount on everyone, and its been a bloody fortune. I do love a big Christmas, lovely stockings etc loads or presents. However, pretty much everything that we gave to DSS went to his mothers house and was never seen (or used) again. It’s his stuff so thats his (or his mums) choice, but does feel like a waste of money. This year things are quite a lot tighter and I just can’t afford to throw money down the drain.
My DSC’s mums family are very very generous, for e.g. DSD got a computer, a phone and a DS last Christmas when she was 10. It just feels unfair to my DC that I spend as much on my DSC as I do on them, but the DSC then go to Mums and get the full wack again. In effect by being generous to the DSC my kids get less which feels like a fundamental inequality.
This year we have started talking about Christmas and what everyone should expect. Eldest DD is very grateful for her presents, takes care of her stuff and is generous to a fault with giving presents too. (She has her quota of faults but not here). My lovely DSD has said she doesn’t care about the presents she just wants everyone to be happy. DSS does care about the number of presents; but like my youngest DD its more about the number of presents under the tree. Interestingly though both of these two have said they’d prefer the cash.
I have said, if you’re not here on 25th in the morning then there is no stocking. For terms of ease imaging our budget is 1500€ I think that if I spend 500€ on my kids then 250€ is probably a fair amount on the DSC. I think its highly unlikely that I’d stick to that but I think its probably fine to spend a bit less on DSC. For some reason cash really does feel wrong though it would definitely be cheaper and easier particularly in terms of wrapping presents which I dread. But I think the two wanting cash are not really imaging that is all they’d get (and they are probably right). But maybe it’s a good lesson to learn for them.
So for those of you with a limited budget how do you spend it?
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DSC and DC? Who gets what proportion of the Christmas budget?
63 replies
Wallywobbles · 10/10/2017 07:11
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FrancisCrawford ·
10/10/2017 07:22
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