Obviously I'm the step parent and I'm not involved in the contact arrangement but just wondering how other separated parents do it? My DP initiated discussion with his ex re Xmas hols to give both of them plenty of time to make arrangements. School breaks up for on 22nd, leaving two days before xmas day and the rest of the hols after.
The 24th, 25th and 26th are governed by the Court Order and they alternate every year, so my DP tries to arrange time either side of these days so DSS has time with both mum and dad in the run up and after the big day and is therefore able to do "normal" stuff both sides as he would if his parents were together i.e visiting family, wrapping presents, preparing and all that.
The ex is trying to dictate the hols based on what she wants to happen because of her work (she recently started her own business). My DP had proposed arrangements which took her work into account throughout (easy handovers in line with her hours) but shes trying to prevent DSS from spending the Saturday before Xmas with Dad (bearing in mind DSS spends the 24th with her this year).
How do other separated couples do it? While I could be said to be biased, I do think my DP is being reasonable as he is trying to give his son the best of both, being able to spend time before and after Xmas Day with both of them. I'd just like to know how Christmas is split in other separated families and how it works for the kiddies!
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Step-parenting
Arranging holidays..Christmas in particular
Aeriefairy · 25/09/2017 17:02
Well for us it was business as usual (EOW) during holidays in theory with Xmas day shared. Usually middayish handover. The reality was that EXp wasn't really keen on contact so other than the Xmas handover he didn't really see them. Social life far more important 
If his ex is trying to prevent the arrangement can he go back to court to have the days specified?
The Judge left it up to DP and ex to arrange the holidays outside the specified Xmas Eve, Xmas Day & Boxing Day... DP has only just been back to Court because she was abusing the order and refusing contact willy nilly..to be honest DP isn't keen on returning to Court and would like to be able to arrange it amicably with her (we can all dream [hmmm] ) he's sent her an email agreeing to the other changes but insisting on the 23rd, just so DSS has a day with each parent before Father Christmas arrives! so maybe she'll agree.. the other issue is the holidays change every year, last year there was a good week of hols before xmas and this year just 2 days, that might be complicated to put in an order. I'm sure it's better for the kid if its left to a bit of flexibility too (in the long run)
DP is very keen on contact and does his level best to see DSS as much as he can 
within the Order. The Order does permit additional contact that can be agreed between the parties, but she is hostile to any attempt at it.
Thanks everyone for your replies!
Dp is very grateful to have a court order, Justdontknow4321 don’t know if it’s any help to your situation but my dp self represents at Court now, only pays application fee usually £215 (still quite a lot of money but less than £1000’s for solicitors).
Interesting to see how other steps families arrange things, dp’s Order is definined so that Xmas hols are shared equally and the festive days alternate annually! Would like it to be more amicable though for all of us but that’s pie in the sky stuff
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