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So quick turn around to court..(12 Posts)
So dp filed court forms 3 weeks ago and had the hearing today. He explained his side that he only sees dss once a fortnight and wanted more for various reasons for him and dss. To which his ex Sat there outright and said.. Nope no way, that's not happening. I work full time so my time with him is precious.. To which the judge said. That's all well and good but Mr xxx also works full time and his time is precious with dss, and you are keeping your son from him for your own selfish needs and wants. .. He asked dp what he wanted and the judge said that was fair... ( a whole weekend fortnightly .. As that fits around both their works etc and the child will be in a good routine ) she said... Nope no way. Dss does football club on a Sunday . So dp said, yes and I can take him.. She then said but that's MY time and like I say it's just not happening you will not take him from me.
The judge basically told her she was being unfair.
And granted dp the time he wanted with dss.. So dss can see the rest of the family, have bonding time without being on a 24 hr time restriction . To do dad and son stuff. . She then said that's too much and un fair on her.. To which the judge said. MR xxx is well within his rights to ask for more and quite honestly if he did I would grant it. Then asked dp if that's what he wanted. But as dp explained it would be unfair on his dss to be dragged midweek to here as long drive, getting home and pretty much being bedtime before having to get the poor boy up and hr earlier for the trek back. It wouldn't be fair..
He mentioned Xmas.. We had dss most of Xmas day last yr and so would be fair if had him boxing day so he could be with his mum on Xmas day this yr.. She said no.. I only have three days off so I'm with him. We'll do only has two days off so explained it should be alternate Xmas or boxing day. So dss can be with both families for the magic etc. She said no u have him the weekend before. The judge said. But that's not the magic of Xmas. Mr xxx really isn't asking much. And said they should do alternative as requested.
Then it was sch holidays. She said we'll I book holiday club or childcare.. But dp said he has lots of the holidays off so he would like to have him to take him away or whatever we decide to do.. And she tried saying she booked a yr in advance for holiday club.. The judge said we'll if she csa n provide proof of that then fair enough but if not going forward dp will have dss 1 week in summer. 1 in Easter and share Oct and Feb half term. She then stipulated he is never to take him abroad.. But as the judge explained he has joint parental responsibility for dss. Yes she could go to court to stop it, however he could too if the other way around.. Which he didn't as she's taken him abroad twice.
He hated that it came to this as thought they could sort it between them but all the to ing and throwing and games it needed this. Hopefully now attitudes will be changed and things will settle.
Did she seem to take on board anything the judge was saying?
It sounds like you've had a positive outcome, which is great news.
Let's hope she takes on board what has been agreed and doesn't mess you around as it's been signed off by a judge.
Going to court must have been stressful for all of you so hopefully you can put it behind you now you have a good resolution and DSS is happy and settled
Yes all signed off by the judge. The judge to be honest could see she didn't want to play ball. But done and dusted now..
Good luck to anyone going thro this. As it is stressful..
Wonderful - good to hear a fair turn of events!
Sounds like a fair outcome, but was wondering about the football club and your OH taking him on his week, which would be great, but I hope he has thought this out because it sounds from your OP that you live quite far away, so does this mean that potentially, it would a case of travelling quite a bit in the morning to get to the club/games, then back at dad and then again to go home? I suppose if it's 1/2, it's not so bad, but more than that, it's quite a lot. How old is your SS?
I say that because OH and I agreed to do one day every week-end rather than every other for this reason.
The football club is about half way between the two really and nr the in laws so works perfect after football see grandparents, go to local park there then take him home. Then we get the whole of Saturday to do things, or see other family etc.
She sounds just like my DH's exW! Hope your situation gets better. Unfortunately ours is still awful 6 yrs on!
This has given me hope. My DH has his second hearing for shared care for 3 children shortly.
The first hearing the ex wouldn't move on what she wanted, so it's going to a second hearing I believe barristers will be involved.
Has anyone else had experience of shared care being granted?
That is a fantastic outcome op! Glad your dp got more time with his son!
We have similar issues over Xmas with dps exw, her way or no way so our joint dd suffers as we can never see the wider family as exw demands she only has them half the day and for lunch. My dscs hate it, want to alternate years and have told her but she refuses. Bloody childish!
We are looking at going to court for full residency due to her persistent albeit mild neglect of the kids and their health needs so your story gives me hope!
God he was so lucky with that judge. It really really doesn't always go like that for fathers.