Hi,
I'd really love to hear from people who can relate to my situation or indeed from anyone with some advice.
I broke up with my husband 18 months ago. It's very amicable between us, and we co parent our one son, who's 5, very well. We have a 50 50 split. I miss my son terribly when I'm not with him but I know that it is important for him to continue having as full as possible relationship with his dad despite my decision to leave. I have a huge amount of guilt about leaving, my husband is a lovely man but I became unhappy. I really tried to speak to him so we could try and turn it around but we couldn't. Our communication was never that great and I became resentful that my feelings were being continually brushed under the carpet. That's not what my thread is about but I thought I'd put you in the picture.
I met my DP in December, he's lovely. Everything I would have hoped for in a partner. We get on so well and we really support one another. He has 2 children (one teenage and one reception age) both are really lovely and we've bonded very well. He has his children all the time. He is able to call on family members to help out with babysitting so we do get times by ourselves.
They live about 45 minutes from me so not a million miles away but enough to not be able to just pop over for a couple of hours. I've been staying at his more and more, I am there most of the time that I don't have my son and more often now we are having sleepovers with all 5 of us. I really do enjoy it and despite the odd power struggle with the little ones, we all get on well.
My issue is trying to put aside the unbearable guilt I feel about being happy - having day trips, cooking and eating family meals, sitting watching movies without my own son. I've got the easy going, happy, communicative relationship and "family" life I've always wanted and my son is only part of it 50% of the time. My son enjoys being all together too, he says things like "why can't we live with , and *". So in every respect it's good. And DP and I are talking about moving in together and the logistics of how it could potentially work albeit that we wouldn't rush into anything and I wouldn't do anything for at least a year.
Rationally I know I don't have any option other than to just learn to deal with it but I crave for my son to be involved more than he is.
Is there anyone who can give me some advise?
Thank you
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Step-parenting
With DP's kids more than my own
7 replies
LongDaysHotNights · 10/09/2017 19:59
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