Contact between step-siblings

[Emmyloo22]

DP has a son (my SS, 12) and we have a DS (2) and DD (6m) together. I avoid contact with SS as I'm worried about what he might do to me and my DC. I've been with DP for 6 years and although the SS hasn't actually done anything major, he doesn't always follow instructions, he gives me funny looks and he "accidentally" bumped into me the last time I saw him. I reckon the XP is filling his mind with venom.

DP has SS at his parents house every other weekend (we live 80 miles away) as due to complicated financial stuff, I own the house that I live in with DP and I won't allow the SS to visit. SS has seen DS about four times in the past year and my DD once in six months. My DP keeps on trying to get me and my DC to see SS more but I don't see why we should. AIBU?

[stitchglitched]

YAB massively U. It doesn't sound as though your SS has done anything to warrant being excluded ftom the family unit. You, on the other hand, had no business having 2 children with someone if you are unable to accept their older child and treat them fairly. And your partner is also very wrong to tolerate you treating his son like this. Hopefully he won't continue to tolerate it much longer, and will chose to end things and can facilitate a relationship between ALL his children during his contact time.

[UserThenLotsOfNumbers]

Why are you afraid of what your step son will do to your children? Has something happened that warrants your concern?

[stitchglitched]

And they are not stepsiblings, they are actually half siblings and entitled to a relationship with each other. Why do you get to override your partner? They are equally his children.

[UserThenLotsOfNumbers]

Oh right, just seen that he hasn't. Silly me.
Honestly OP, this is wrong and you sound unhinged.

[Phillipa12]

Xp dosent need to fill his head with venom, he clearly knows you dislike him by your own actions, you sound utterly horrid op.

[Underthemoonlight]

You sound like an arsehole op you should be ashamed to treat an innocent child like this. Why on earth would you have children with a man who's child you refused to accept. This is your children's brother. Your partner is a disgrace aswell.

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

Why might he do something to you or your children??
Sometimes kids don't do what they're told. Has your 2 yr old always followed instructions? Never accidentally bumped into you or given you a funny look? When in the last 6 years did that all start?
You sound crazy.

[Underthemoonlight]

So from the age of 6 you have literally taken his father away from him and restrict him to having access in his grandparents house away from siblings.

[LuxuryWoman2017]

There's clearly going to be a massive drip feed to come, and I hope so actually because from what you've written you sound awful and not a little unhinged

[mummarichardson]

You are the epitome of the wicked step mother

[EsmeeMerlin]

You do not have to see your step son but there is nothing stopping you partner taking his two younger children to see their older brother.

[Outlookmainlyfair]

It is difficult but they are half siblings and if you don't allow your children access to their brother you are potentially storing up problems for the future.

[slyoldfoxystoat]

Fuck me u give us step mums the worst reputation!! That poor child. I am disgusted with your dp for letting you dictate how he sees his child too!

[Emmyloo22]

This thread escalated quickly and I dont like these comment saying I'm unhinged and an arsehole, I'm not.

They might be half-siblings but that doesn't mean they need to see each other all the time.

One time, we arrived and surprised SS. He smiled and hugged DS but gave me a horrible look. He was also tapping on DSs back and had to be told to stop. What if he does something bad to DC?

[LuxuryWoman2017]

He's a child and sorry you do sound unhinged. Gave you a horrible look? Really?

[stitchglitched]

Is this a reverse? Are you really the 12 year old's Mum? If so your ex and his new partner are a pair of arseholes.

If this is real, why do you get to override your partner? He is entitled to take his kids to see their brother, they are his children too.

[stitchglitched]

And is it any wonder he gave you a 'look'? You don't like him and are making that pretty clear.

[Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed]

You sound awful.

Your poor stepson.

[mamatiger83]

I don't understand why you wouldn't want your child to meet and have a relationship with their siblings?? The half part is surely irrelevant.
If you have a genuine concern about behaviour safety then take measures to ensure safety but there is no good reason I can fathom as to why you would deprive your child of this relationship.

[WhiskyIrnBru]

Jesus. Poor kid. I think you need to address you paranoia towards your SS. How do you think he feels? Like your DP has moved on and got a 'new family' that he's not allowed to be part of.

[Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed]

Why don't you allow your partners child to visit?

[heateallthebuns]

He's your children's brother! Why are you stopping your own children from having a loving relationship with their brother?! He tapped him?! Wtf siblings bicker that's all part of the relationship. Your children's lives will be enriched by arguing, laughing, crying and spending time with their brother.

[Fabellini]

Why on earth would you imagine he'd do something bad to his half-sibling??
Honestly, if he's "giving you funny looks" it's probably because he's thinking "that woman stops me seeing my dad and getting to know my little brother and my baby sister, why is she so horrible?"
Your dps ex has no need to be filling his mind with venom.....you've already generated more than enough venom of your own.
You seriously "won't allow" your dps son to visit his father in the home his father jointly owns? Who do you think you are?!

[PerfectPenquins]

Please be a wind up. What is actually wrong with you? You are unhinged. You do not like him and your grasping at any excuse you can find. Your partner should be ashamed of himself for staying and putting up with you. I hope he leaves you sharpish as then you will get no say in the siblings seeing each other and they will get a chance at a relationship you are so intent on preventing. Are you jealous your partner was in love before you and had a child with someone else? Honestly what is your problem your damaging to your step son and your own children who will realise what you've been doing one day, little warning here they may not forgive you and you will lose your relationship with your own kids.