Corrections to Child Maintenance

[Traveller123]

CM for one child was set at 150/week last year based on historical earnings as I was unemployed at the time. However, actual earning for Tax year ending 5 April 2017 are much less.

Based on actual earning CM should be 90/week. To recover the overpayment of 60/week I would be paying 30/week till end of next tax year when review is done again.

Whilst the above is mathematically correct, 30/week would not go very far and I would like to see either Son or his Mother struggling. Anyone else faced this situation? If so how did they resolve

[Pestilentialone]

Ignore the calculator. It is bare minimum for skinflints who would rather pay nothing. Pay as much as you can manage. Go without stuff to provide for your kids, their resident parent will be. If you can manage one third of your income, then your kids can have a similar lifestyle to you.

[Traveller123]

Even with reduced CM ex will still have around 1800/month in hand from; earnings; tax credits and SM.

[Lunar1]

Did your children eat too much or grow too much for your liking? I can't believe you would try to recover this money!

[SweetEnough]

I agree pay what you can afford. If it's the revised figure of £90 a week then pay that; if you can afford the £150 or more then do. I wouldn't try to recoup what's already been paid, it seems harsh to take from your child and £1800 doesn't go far I struggle on more than that although I have more than 1.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

If you weren't paying significant spousal maintenance as well I'd say just leave it. But as you are I think it's fair to look at recovering it.

[Mymouthgetsmeintrouble]

If you can afford it carry on as you are if you cant pay the 90 taking back what has been overpaid will only punish the child

[Traveller123]

In addition to the CM and SM I pay all Childs school costs (meals, uniform and trips) also pay for hobbies up to £100 per month. The weekly amount of £90, or £30 if over payment is recovered, goes direct to child's mother.

Was hoping to come to a private agreement as heard horror stories about CMS. That CMS charge RP 4% and NRP 20% is wrong. It's effectively a tax on maintenance!

[Pestilentialone]

It is a tax on being a tight bastard and unable to manage a private arrangement.
Pay the £90 a week and don't try and claw back more. One day your child will be an adult and will judge you, as harshly as you deserve. Or they could judge you as being a decent human. Your choice.
It costs £230,000 to raise a child, do the maths, you are not really paying that much.

[Traveller123]

Settlement paid to repair ex wife was £140,000. Split was £15,000 for a car and £125,000 to buy a house. Plus she kept house I bought for her in her home country before we were married. Logic was she would live in UK rent free and rent out house in her home country.

For some reason she has chosen to rent in the UK at £600 per month and stepdaughter advises she sends money to her family to live in her house for free! So sounds like maintenance i am paying is not being spent on child anyway?

[Pestilentialone]

You are sounding increasingly more bitter. £125,000 for a house is fuck all now days. You don't sound worried about her not looking after your child. You can't dictate how she spends the money.
Man up and pay your share.

[Traveller123]

To Pest. Don't appreciate your comments. Son has over £30,000 in his child trust fund all of which was contributed by myself and his grandparents. By time he is 18 and can access his fund it will be worth a projected £70,000-£80,000. About one third of your figure of £230,000 to raise a child.

[Pestilentialone]

By which time his mother will have already raised him.

[Traveller123]

To Pest. In northeast UK £125,000 is enough to buy a house that is close to ex wife's place of work and sons school. Check on rightmove if you don't believe. Plus that was the entire equity of the former family home. Don't forget she has a house in her home country which has not been visited in 4 years. So why she penalises herself with rent I don't know

[Pestilentialone]

You're divorced, you don't have to know.

[iogo]

As a step parent (who has previously been both supported and vilified on here regarding my DH passing over and above what he should in various situations) I do see your point of view but I wouldn't try and recover money already paid for your child. It will backfire on you. If you need to reduce maintenance so you can live then do but don't claw money back from your child.

[iogo]

Passing should have said paying.

[Traveller123]

To Pest. Interested to know where £230,000 to raise a child comes from? Over 18 years that's an average of £1,000 per month. So if a family has 3 children they pay average of £3,000 per month before any other.costs?

[Traveller123]

To iogo. Thanks for comments. My gripe is that the CM is not being spent on the child, but being diverted overseas. When I see child his clothes are always too small and he tells me that his mother never takes him anywhere when she not working.

[Pestilentialone]

Yes, children are very expensive .
Private education would sort of double that cost, most people can't even consider it. If loss of earnings were also taken into consideration the cost would be much higher. You are getting a good deal. Pay the £90 a week, more if you can manage it.

[Traveller123]

To Pest. I know how much stepdaughter's University cost as I paid all of it. Not much change from £10,000 per year over 4 years. Hence decision to pay as much as possible into a child trust fund for son as by time he is 18 I will be approaching end of working days.

No issues with payment CM if it is genuinely spent on child, but when stepdaughter sent me the copies of the WesternUnion transfer made by her mother to her family overseas I was aghast.

Maybe pay the £90 direct to ex wife, £30 into child trust fund and save £30 for sons airfare to see his family overseas? At least then I know son is getting some of the maintenance

[Pestilentialone]

That sounds like a sensible arrangement.

[Traveller123]

To Pest. Ex wife never been interested in benefits in kind I'd lieu of maintenance. That's what convinces me that money is being kept for herself

[Janeismymiddlename]

Ex wife never been interested in benefits in kind I'd lieu of maintenance

Yes, of course. She should accept whatever scraps you deign to give with good grace.

It would be nice to have some money to spend on myself and I would not accept in lieu payments for my children. I am not 2 years old and can manage a budget. I am also allowed to spend money on myself. It's not illegal.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Wow, I'll take £125k in "scraps"

[AnneLovesGilbert]

She has a job and two free houses. OP paid her for her daughter to go to university.