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adoption and unnamed father

(4 Posts)
LurpakIstheOnlyButter Tue 04-Jul-17 20:55:25

Hi all,

DH and I have been together since DD (7) was a tiny baby. He has raised her as his own and we have lived together as a family for over 4 years with our other 3 DC.

We recently married and always planned that he would adopt her and she understands this and is very keen for us to get on and do it.

DDs birth certificate states father unknown as her birth father was not my partner. He has seen her once when she was a few days old. He has not attempted contact and does not pay maintenance (he did for a short while through CSA when forced and we had to do DNA test as he denied she was his).

My question is - do I need to approach birth father who we are not in contact with and has no interest in regards to DDs adoption? He has no PR and is not named on BC but there is a DNA test result from the CSA. Does this matter?

CoconutGal Wed 05-Jul-17 17:08:50

Hi Op, I'm currently going through this as you've posted. My DH is about to adopt my DD after bringing her up since she was tiny. We contacted our local adoption services & got the ball rolling from there. They suggested to me that because I had a form of contact with DD's dad that it can sound better coming from me about the adoption. Eventually they contacted him & told him. We are about to head into our 2nd hearing & then our final hearing.

As your ex doesn't have PR, he will have an opportunity to disagree with the decision. You'll be supported through this anyway if he does disagree.

LurpakIstheOnlyButter Wed 05-Jul-17 20:32:54

Hi coconut.
Thanks for your reply.
I don't have contact with him, no phone number and no idea where he lives. He has messaged me once or twice via FB so I could technically contact him on there. Do I have to? Did you?

Somerville Wed 05-Jul-17 22:53:20

In seems to vary quite a bit between different local authorities, OP. So you can get a feel of the situation from on here, but ultimately it's something you'll need to ask your social worker.

We're trying to decide about step-parent adoption so I've chatted things through with a SW from my LA. Here they check with all living parents, whether or not they have PR, and with other relatives if the parent is deceased, as in my case. (I didn't get the impression they insist on there also being direct contact between estranged parents, but I didn't ask since that's not my situation.)

If I were you I'd also be asking what would happen if he said no to the adoption and told CAFCASS he wanted to start forming a relationship with his child. That's the risk, in a situation like yours, from what I've gleaned on here.

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