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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Step-parenting

Solicitor asking for my finances in DPs separation agreement

18 replies

Bluebell9 · 21/06/2017 19:24

DP and his soon to be ExW have finally got round to sorting the financial settlement that will be the basis of their divorce. They have 2 DC. They had agreed everything between themselves but DP received a letter today which among others things requested all my financial income and expenditure etc.
DP and I own a house together, (ExW has signed legal documents to say she has no interest in the house)but we have separate finances. We both contribute 50/50 to the bills, shopping etc but I earn more so therefore have more disposable income. I also pay for half the DCs food, clothes etc when they are with us. DP pays the maintance himself.
DP is seeing his solicitor in a few days to get advice but is this normal?

I love my DSC but I don't think my earnings should be taken into consideration when working out the maintenance. I've worked really hard over the years to get a good job that pays well and therefore we have a nice house now. I'm not loaded BTW and I do have loans etc.

I thought we all got on well, I wasn't an OW before anyone asks. ExW seems to like me and got me a Mother's Day card from the DSC.

When DP asked her about the letter, she said she didn't know that they were asking for that etc but she wants what is best for the kids as she wants to move to a bigger house.

Can she get my income included in the settlement? Obviously we aren't married as DP and her aren't divorced yet.

OP posts:

Report

heidiwine · 21/06/2017 19:29

They can ask for it. I had to disclose my income in broad terms. As I understand it income of all cohabiting parties are considered so that the needs of the divorcing parties can be assessed.
Talk to a lawyer - they'll know what it's all about.

Racmactac · 21/06/2017 19:35

They can ask but the answer is no, I'm sorry she is not willing to provide that information.

Janeismymiddlename · 21/06/2017 20:52

He can simply say he doesn't know. The courts will assume he is spilttings with you on a 50/50 basis as a result. It might be worth disclosing if you're not working or earn much less than him but otherwise, you are under no obligation.

heidiwine · 21/06/2017 22:37

I'm not a lawyer but get advice, we did and I was strongly advised to declare which I did by providing a P60 and details of my contribution to our outgoings/joint expenses.
Maybe post in legal there are lawyers there who will know the ins and outs of what you may ultimately be forced to do (by a court) if you don't respond to the solicitor's request...

Zampa · 21/06/2017 22:43

It's my understanding that a partner's finances are taken into account when assessing the NRP's overall outgoings and therefore their disposable income, in relation to any settlement above standard maintenance payments.

For example, rent on a one bed flat split between 2 means more disposable income for the NRP then if they were paying all of the rent on their own.

I don't believe that the basic child maintenance calculation includes any other income than the NRPs.

Gogglerox · 22/06/2017 06:59

Where are you based? I'm not aged how it works in divorce proceedings but in the U.K. even if you're married only the biological parent's income is used to calculate child maintainence.
CSA payments are worked out using the NRP's personal wage and doesn't include any partners/spouses earnings.
The only way you could affect CSA is if you have a child of your own living with you as a couple (not necessarily his child, could be yours from a previous relationship) then they consider this child and grant a reduction in the CSA payments you have to make to the parent of the non-resident children

Gogglerox · 22/06/2017 07:00

not sure* I meant

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 22/06/2017 07:14

she wants to move to a bigger house

so she wants you to finance her lifestyle?!
How old are the dc & how is contact/residence being shared?

If it works for the dc and yourselves it might be better for your dp to ask for 50/50 residence.....then she can concentrate on earning her way to a bigger house instead of feeling like she's entitled to it.

thegirlupnorth · 22/06/2017 08:18

As you've bought a house together it's not unreasonable to assume he's aware of your financial circumstances and it's often asked for. However he can say he's unaware of your finances.

Bluebell9 · 22/06/2017 08:32

Couldntmakethisshitup I think some of it is jealousy that DP now has a lovely house. But that isn't due to him having lots of money, his parents gave him some money for a deposit and I supplied the majority from the sale of my previous house. To be honest, if DP was single, he'd struggle to rent a 1 bed flat with the amount he pays in maintenance currently and taking on the marital debt.

DP would happily be RP and has told ExW that. ExW only ever wanted to be a SAHM though and I think she thinks DP should fund that.
DC are both at primary school and are with us 2/3 nights a week.

OP posts:

Bluebell9 · 22/06/2017 08:35

Thegirlupnorth we have a joint account that bill are paid from, I'm happy for him to disclose this. The remainder of my money is in my account which he has no access to.

He can honestly say he has no idea of my finances, I deal with all that as he is so dis-organised!

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heidiwine · 22/06/2017 12:42

Honestly you need to take legal advice. Ours was that it would be far better to disclose now (joint acct/joint assets and P60) than be forced to disclose by a court so I disclosed (and it had next to no bearing on the outcome).

Bluebell9 · 22/06/2017 16:21

I'm happy to disclose the joint account and joint assets, just not my personal total income and assets. We will see what the lawyer says.

OP posts:

lalalalyra · 23/06/2017 14:13

It used to be the case many moons ago that the partners income could be asked for because of people like my ex. He was the kind that would claim he was earning £1500 a month, paying £1000 in rent, £300 in bills and therefore should only be assessed on £200. Whereas in reality he was paying half of the rent and half of the bills because his partner was also paying half, therefore his child support should have been assessed on £850.

His gf at the time hit the roof until she realised she wasn't actually being asked to contribute toward the children. He just wasn't being allowed to pretend he was super skint.

Bluebell9 · 26/06/2017 14:17

DP isn't trying to pretend he is skint he does and wants to continue to provide fairly for the DCs, but I am the higher earner so with my wages, it looks like there is more left over then DP has access to.
I'm happy to say we pay 50/50, which is true.

OP posts:

mrssapphirebright · 27/06/2017 12:51

Just ignore it. the same happened to me. My solicitor told me they can't make you disclose it.

mrssapphirebright · 27/06/2017 12:53

His settlement with his exw needs to be based on their needs as individuals. There is no point agreeing a settlement in her favor which relies on your earnings - if you split up his circs would be different.

jacketej · 27/06/2017 20:26

No you don't have to disclose it, you aren't part of their divorce nor their relationship.when my now husband divorced his ex wife attempted to do the same (well her Solictor firm did). We in a polite fashion told them to jog on and it was never questioned.

How much you earn has no relevance to his divorce in the slightest.. it's your partners income not yours. Dig your heels in, and don't give in!

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