Will try to keep brief but without drip feeding. Been with DP for 3 years, I have 2 kids, he has 1. We waited a while before meeting kids as none of them had known us to have partners before (aside from their bio parents - neither of us had had a serious relationship since the split from our exes - mine was 2 years prior to meeting, his was 3).
My kids have adapted well and, aside from some early teething problems, really get on well with DP.
DSS is a whole different ball game. He was 7 when we met and initially seemed to be ok with things but as time went on started being more resistant to being around me, being rude to me and my kids and generally making things unpleasant for DP and I to the extent we almost split up over it all. We sorted things out and things seemed to improve so we made the decision to move in together. All kids including DSS seemed ok with things.
That was 6 months ago, for the last 2 months he's reverted back to being rude, sullen and selfish towards me and my kids. When DP picks him up for contact he kicks off, trying to refuse to come here and when he gets here he purposely ignores me. DP makes sure he spends 1-2-1 time with him every week so it's not like the whole time includes me and my kids. He has his own bed, TV and space here which I've encouraged him to make his own, I make an effort to buy the foods and snacks he likes, we include him in all our plans (even if it's not agreed contact time we'll also ask bio mum is he wants to and can come along if we're doing something). But none of it makes a difference. He just says he doesn't like me doesn't want to come round and doesn't understand why his Dad forces him to come here when he hates it. Although he's happy to come here when it suits him (i.e I have the sports channels his bio mum doesn't so when there's a football match on he wants to watch he asks to come round).
We have a holiday booked soon and I'm dreading having to spend 10 days around him. I've already told DP that I'll be taking my kids off on my own to have a break from things and give him some time on his own with his boy. DP fully agrees with me that his sons behaviour is unacceptable and has tried talking to him about it but nothing helps. I just dont know how much longer I can cope with this. Any ideas?
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Does it ever get better
18 replies
Justonemorecuppa · 31/05/2017 11:34
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