Hi All
Just wondering how other step families work when the DSCs are ill. Both mine are very frequently poorly with stomach pain, nausea etc which, despite lots of tests and visits to doctors are so far undiagnosed. It used to be the case that they would come to us anyway and be ill at ours but in the last twelve months or so their mum has started to give them a choice whether to come or not. Having to make this decision is causing them so much anxiety and every school holiday and many weekends, we are getting texts about how upset one or the other is, how they want to see their dad but feel so ill. This is obviously causing everyone concerned a lot of heartache and stress. We hear how they are crying, don't want to upset their dad etc. We don't know what to do for the best. Mostly when they do decide to come they are in much better shape than you'd think from the texts and are eating fine, want to go out etc. Their mum thinks we give the impression that they think we don't believe their symptoms and gee them up to get out and do something. We do think there may be an anxiety component and do think it can sometimes be best to bring them out of themselves and I guess the approach differs at home. Of course the want to be with their mum when they are ill, I get that and we don't put pressure on, yet they feel it anyway. Don't know what to do.Should we just say no, they don't come when they're ill in any way so as to avoid the issue or say they must come unless they are too ill to travel. Either would at least take the decisions out of their hands which would be preferable to the quandary they feel themselves to be in all the time. I've no idea what to say to hubbie over this any more. I'm lucky my own son is rarely ill so always makes contact visits to his dad. My DSS10 has just arrived now after such an incident and has asked to come out for a walk and ice cream and eaten a chocolate bar. I've said , you don't have to, please tell us if you want to stay home etc, it's fine but insists wants to come.
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Step-parenting
DSCs so often ill. How to deal with it?
31 replies
Fianceechickie · 28/05/2017 14:22
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