Hello everyone, I am completely new to this website and completely new to being a step mum! So any advice would be great. My partner and I have been together 3 years and he has always had a daughter that he would see for around 4 hours every Sunday due to his ex being controlling and not allowing him anymore time with her. So I have met and spent time with my partners daughter who is now 6. Anyway 11 months ago his ex stopped all access and he went to court to do the right thing with regards to access. Anyway 11 months later he has a court order where his daughter can come and stay with us every other weekend and one night in the week for her dinner. This is fantastic for him and I am so pleased for him, however I am struggling with such a huge change in dynamics. I know I am going to sound selfish but I just want to be as honest as possible to see if it's normal. Father and daughter want to spend as much time as they can together so it's been every weekend, so all of a sudden I'm used to having my partner to myself every weekend, and now I feel pushed out as I don't have a say (which I suppose I wouldn't, and don't want to jeprodise his time with his daughter) but I feel very jealous shock I am just being honest. Furthermore, because it's all so new, there is no routine or rules. The daughter wants to sleep in our bed and although this has happened twice, I just don't sleep as there is no room and it winds me up she shouldn't be in our bed surely? I am a nurse and work weekends so need to be able to sleep. When speaking with my partners mother and father about the situation they said I should let her sleep in our bed for around 2 months as this situation is so new to her and she needs to get comfortable with her dad and I. If anything I should sleep in her room. Is this ok? I am so lost in this mindfield that I don't know what the right thing to do is as I'm not a parent and never have been and I don't want this to come between my partner and I. So the main issues are I am jealous that I'm now not number 1 (sorry it's selfish but just being honest) and the sleeping arrangements. Can anyone advise?
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