Asking to much

[sinead012001]

Today 14:09 sinead012001

Were to start hmm my SS is 10 recently we had a big thing with him and his mum I was to strict my ss said he hated ,my ss mum said my partner and him didn't spend enough time on their own.

So I now I just leave everything regarding him to my partner. My ss is as nice as pie in front of my partner but when he's not their he answers me back and wont do anything .He's stays with us tue night overnight and every weekend Frid -Sun. Ive started trying to go out or arrang to do something when he's hear to give them more time I'm their even for a few hours .But my problem is now my partner seems to forget I exist when my ss is hear he spends all his time playing the PlayStation with ss. Like this morning he spent from 10am-2pm playing the PlayStation. Am I wrong in wanting partner to spend time with me to when ss hear or am I just being a jealous girlfriend we both work al day Mon-Frid. My ss dosnt want to spend anytime with both of us it's just him and his dad or sites in his rooom. Sorry and Thanks

[Underthemoonlight]

He should be respectful to you but I think if hey want to play the PlayStation together there shouldn't be a striction on the amount of time. Surely you have your dp all week minus tues and every other weekend so there plenty of time to do stuff together

[sinead012001]

He stays with us every single weekend Frid after work through to a Sunday evening and it's the same thing every time he's hear now they spend all their time on it. I'll Just have to learn to deal with it if I'm wrong then. Thanks

[Fiona1984]

Are there not any activities you can all do together, like trips out, even just a walk or a bike ride? You could try suggesting this to your partner.
My partner's son is a similar age, he plays Mine craft or war games on his own but he only gets an hour or two. He gets to watch some of his programs, but not all day, then we put on something we can all enjoy.
It can be a bit frustrating when DC spends most of the day in his room watching YouTube videos on his phone.
We have him every other weekend and one or 2 nights during the week too.

[wheresthel1ght]

I think if he is with you every weekend then you are not being mean to expect to be included.

It strikes me that there is an awful lot more than you have posted here.

How long have you been together?

[sinead012001]

We have been together 3 1/2 years I get they need to spend time on their own that's why I try to do go out or do something. I just try so hard to please everyone. An we are due to get married in February next year.

I tried last night with sort of a saying not a time limit but I made dinner & then went out while they played the PlayStation and I sort of said that gives you's 2 hours playing when I come back we can have dinner. That worked cause my ss has school so it was ok he got more time after dinner to play on his own/ watch his iPad before bed. Going to try this sort of thing at the weekend but I don't no if it will work because they don't have that restriction if u no what I mean.

[wheresthel1ght]

totally get what you mean! But maybe you need to apply the same theory so go do something on your own Saturday morning, get a coffee, get your nails done, go to the gym or whatever but tell them you will be back at X time and then you are all going to go and do Y - be it a film at the cinema, walk in the park, local attraction. that way they are getting their 'alone' time and you get to be included in bits of it.

I would make sure any discussion you have about it is done away from your DSS and probably away from your home.

The alternative is book a week night and have a regular date night/couple time so that you are still getting some alone time that is fun without DSS being about but doesn't eat into their time.

[sinead012001]

Thanks I'll try and do something like this I normally go to the gym on Saturday morning but it's usually before they are even awake lol. So I'll maybe go do something else and suggest going out but my DSS ususjy dosent want to go or do anything is my problem unless in inmvoles a iPad or computer game or that includes me .

[wheresthel1ght]

just prep your DP before hand so you are both on the same page and then hopefully he will -grow a pair- back you up if DSS refuses

[Wdigin2this]

It's hard when it's like that, but your DSS will grow up, then he'll want to be off with his mates!